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Золотой телёнок

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the road;
this is my responsibility.
In a word - the gasoline is yours,
the ideas are ours.
Participants of the auto race have been greeted
by sounds of orchestra at Arbatov market square.
What auto race?
Won't they chase after us?
You should read newspapers, Shura.
Sometimes they reveal that
which is wise, good, eternal...
We are located in the line of auto race
Moscow-Kharkov-Moscow.
For a period of time we'll be
the front machine of the race. Get it?
That's Panikovsky running! Panikovsky!
- Stop! Stop!
- Ah, viper!
- Save me! - God will help you.
- Shall we take the viper?
Don't. He'll know better next time
than to violate a pact.
Take me! I'll be good!
I'll never do it again!
- Drop that bird! - I can't do it!
- Drop, I say!
- Adam! What do you call your wagon?
- Lauren-Dietrich.
That's a hell of a rotten name!
An automobile, like a battleship,
must have its own name.
Your Lauren-Dietrich is distinguished
by remarkable speed...
...and a noble beauty of line.
Therefore I propose that we give
to the machine the name Antelope-Gnu.
Any objections? Unanimous!
Full speed ahead, then!
The session continues.
Destination - Chernomorsk
- Greetings!
- How are you!
Comrade Koreiko, how much is 836 by 423?
353,628
Phenomenon!
Another man in his place
would make himself a career,
but he is just an idiot.
He'll sit here the rest of his life
on his forty-six rubles.
A church with a village to the starboard, sir!
Drop anchor, sir?
For 5 minutes. Behind us are first-class machines.
Meeting them does not enter into our plans.
- How about the gasoline?
- It should last till Udoev.
- Shall we respond to greetings?
- Reply with bows and smiles.
I forbid you to open your mouths.
No marauding, no violations of the law.
The Udoyevites themselves
will give us everything we need.
The sweet burden of fame...
Greetings to participants of the auto race!
- Out of gasoline.
- We'll fill it up right now.
Our agenda includes rally,
then lunch, then concert of local talents...
Could we switch it?
Lunch first, then rally.
People arrived already.
Hard to keep them waiting.
Let's cancel lunch, then.
We'll take the lunch packed.
Give it to these comrades.
Also, give them a barrel of aviation gasoline.
The rally has to be very short.
Save you speeches for other machines.
- How are the other machines?
- Lagging behind. Punctures, breakdowns,..
...the enthusiasm of the population --
-- all these things cause delay.
Are you in the commander's car?
Is Kleptunov with you?
I took Kleptunov out of the race.
And Professor Pessochnikov --
is he in the Packard?
And the woman writer -- Vera Cruz?
I'd like to have a look at her.
- And Nezhinsky. Is he also with you?
- You know, I'm rather tired from the race.
- Are you in the Studebaker?
- You may consider our car a Studebaker,..
...but until now it has been called
a Lauren-Dietrich.
But there are no Lauren-Dietrichs in the race.
I read about two Packards, two Fiats
and one Studebaker.
Go to devil's mother with your Studebaker!
Who is this Studebaker?
Is Studebaker related to you?
Is Stidebaker your father?
Why do you annoy a fellow like this?
I tell him in plain Russian...
...that at the last moment a Lauren-Dietrich
was substituted for the Studebaker,..
...and still he bothers me!
Experts! Such experts should be shot!
He will have a Studebaker.
I rejoice in the opportunity...
...to violate the patriarchal peace
of the city of Udoyev...
...with an automobile siren.
The automobile, comrades, is not a luxury
but a means of conveyance.
The automobile is vehicle of internal combustion!
The automobile is also vehicle of the culture!
We must work for the uninterrupted production
of Soviet automobiles.
The iron steed comes to take the place
of the puny peasant horse!
Use automobile, comrades. Everybody!
Let's race against
Золотой телёнок Золотой телёнок

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