the station
to give up my suitcase for safekeeping...
...and get a job somewhere.
Good accountants are now in demand.
- Allow me?
- No, this is to stay with me.
And those are souvenirs for your services.
Must be a foreigner.
Arise, Count!
Great affairs awaits you!
Ochakov? ... I will not do it again. ...
Do you recognize me?
- Commander!
- Don't embrace me. I'm a haughty man now!
You're brown!
My, how brown you've become!
Yes, I've become brown.
Look at my suit. Europe! A-1!
The ring finger of my hand is adorned
with a diamond! Four carats!
Well, what are your attainments?
Still a son?
So,so. Mostly little things.
Tell me honestly, Shura, how much money
do you need for happiness?
100 rubles.
But no! Not just for to-day, but in general.
For happiness!
So that you will live well in the world.
For a total happiness?
6 thousand and 4 hundred.
Very well.
Here's 50 thousand.
- Was it really on a little plate?
Yes, with a blue border.
The defendant brought it in his teeth.
He wagged his tail for a long time...
..before I agreed to accept it.
Now I am in command of the parade! I feel fine.
But what about Rio de Engineiro?
Shall we go?
The devil take it!
There is no Rio de Janeiro!
And there is no America!
And there is no Europe!
There is nothing over there.
The waves of the Atlantic Ocean
break on Shepetovka,
[*Ostap means former border point
on USSR's western frontier.]
A certain doctor explained everything to me.
The rest of the world is a myth
about life beyond the grave.
He who goes abroad never returns!
It's simply a circus!
What a fine time I'll have now!
Poor Panikovsky!
How he would have enjoyed this!
I propose to honor the memory
of the deceased by rising.
- Sit down.
And Kozlevich...
He actually put the "Antelope" together
and is working in Chernomorsk.
He sent me a letter.
Wrote that he was fine but out of money.
Asked me to send him an oil pipe
and to visit him there.
He's a good old man.
Now I'll run out
and try to find his oil pipe.
Don't bother. I'll buy him a new machine.
As for you, we'll have to get you some more clothes.
Let's go to the Grand Hotel.
I've reserved a room
for the conductor of the symphonic orchestra.
And what do you think is conductor's name?
Schmidt.
It's a circus!
I'll put you in an elementary school.
You'll learn how to read and to write.
You'll become a real man.
Hey, old man, how much?
Beat it. That is the carriage of the past.
You cannot go far in it.
My bet there's no taxi.
So, we'll have to take a street car.
Shura, mind your pockets!
I've been robbed!
Hold him!
There he is!
Bandit! Finger! Thief!
He stole my purse!
There was a powder box
and 1 ruble and 75 kopecks in there.
Hold him!
There was also my trade union id.
I'm a trade-unionist, you know.
Don't let him go.
Escort him to the police.
How did it happen?
I did it mechanically!
Swear to God. I did not want to...
I'll show you -- mechanically!
Goodbye, Commander!
It was an accident.
I did not mean it...
In a train to Chernomorsk...
They've cremated homeless boy.
Yet, alive -- he jumps for joy.
Furnace opens -- what they hear?
"Close the door, it's drafty here!"
Peter, called the Great (poor Pete!)
Had no kith and had no kin,
Just a snake and one old nag,
This was all his family.
The Seer has come!
Favorite of Rabindranath Tagore.
The famous Bombay yogi ...
... Iokanaan Marusidze.
Performance of Sherlock Holmes experiments.
The invisible hen.
The prophet Samuel answers all questions.
The materialization of spirits
and the distribution of...
... elephants.
What's going on here, citizens?
What is the meaning of this crowd?
Get out, all of you, citizens from the 'hard' car!
Otherwise, I'll go to the chief!
These are guests.
They only come to visit us for a while.
We're returning from our summer factory practice.
It's against the rules.
Go away! Clear out!
What the matter with you, papa.
Passengers