around.
He wears pants.
He had to wear pants
'cause those movies
were made in the '40s.
He had to wear 'em
so you wouldn't see his--
wolf dork.
Wolf dork?
[Girl]
You guys!
I saw him.
He was watching us.
Who?
Scary German Guy.
Sean, he give me
the creeps.
Oh, he's just
a dude on welfare.
Maybe he's
a German spy.
Oh, good one.
We're not at war
with Germany anymore.
We're at war
with Vietnam.
What?
It's in Rambo.
You guys missed it!
Oh! Fat Kid!
Rudy saved my life!
Do you think we could
talk him into joining
the Monster Club?
Can we?
Huddle.
Huddle.
Sean, he's
in junior high.
[Girl]
I hear he killed
his dad.
Get out of here,
Phoebe the Feeb!
Okay, you guys.
We should let him in
on one condition.
[All]
Monster test.
You guys!
I saw Scary--
I saw him!
I saw Scary German Guy!
He was watching!
[Man]
I'm depressed.
What for?
What do you mean,
what for?
I'm flyin'
a World War II bomber
with wooden crates in it
and dead bodies.
I should have a party?
Do they complain?
Do they get airsick?
Do they ask for more
of the little almond
things?
You're right.
This is a great job.
I'm really happy.
[thud]
I thought they were dead.
They are.
I'm goin' to, uh...
I'm gonna
check it out.
Okay. Good.
You do that.
I'll stay here and
make spooky sounds.
[animal squeaks]
[screeching]
Aah!
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Where are you,
you son of a bitch?
[grunting]
[Man moans]
Oh...
Uhh!
[squeaking]
[frogs croaking]
[screeches]
[Fat Kid]
Two ways to kill
a vampire.
[Sean]
Good one, Fat Kid.
Excellent question.
[Rudy]
Uh, stake through the heart.
[Sean]
Right.
[Fat Kid]
What else?
[Patrick]
Oh, real good.
[Sean]
Eugene.
[Eugene]
I wasn't talking.
Get him in a muzzle,
will ya?
It was Pete.
[Rudy]
You guys meet up here
a lot, or, uh...
Every day.
[Patrick]
Do we meet up here a lot?
Eugene!
Man!
[dog barks]
Eugene, make
Pete shut up.
[Fat Kid]
Do you really think
that was a good question?
[Sean] Rudy!
Are you gonna listen or
look out the window?
[Patrick]
I told you he didn't want
to be in the club.
Lighten up, Patrick.
[Rudy]
No way!
Hey, we're tryin'
to do the test
here, you know.
You're gonna
piss him off.
I'm beginnin'
to like this club.
Rudy! Come on.
It's a monster test.
It's important. Okay?
Second way
to kill a vampire.
Mmm...I give up.
Daylight.
Sunlight.
Ha ha ha!
Fat Kid,
what other kind
of light is there
durin' the day?
Go away, Pete!
Okay, question two.
Is Frankenstein
the name of the monster
or the guy who made him?
The guy.
Right.
[knock knock]
Can't you read?
Mom said
you have to let me
in the club,
or else it's prescruption.
That's discrimination,
jerkoid.
"Prescription" is drugs,
which you're on if you
think you're gettin' up here.
Come on, Sean!
I know about monsters.
Come on! Let me
in the club!
Two ways to kill a werewolf.
Silver bullet?
And?
That's it. Shoot him
with a sliver bullet.
Nope. Sorry, Rudy.
Ha ha!
Okay, so, what's
the other way?
What?
Second way
to kill a werewolf?
Um...
Car crash?
Accident
with power tools?
Old age?
Falling out a window.
Onto a bomb!
[Woman]
Sean! Phoebe! Dinner!
Oops. Gotta go.
Wait. Am I in
or what?
[Announcer chatting on TV]
I mean it, spaz.
[Phoebe]
You gotta
stop it.
Uh, uh, uh, uh!
Wash up
for dinner,
guys.
[Phoebe]
Boring guy, boring guy,
boring guy, boring guy.
What's this, Mom?
Huh? Oh, I got that
for you today
at Jane Burgess'
garage sale.
Says it's
from that old house
up on Shadowbrook Road.
Holy shit! Uh, sor-- cow.
Um, I'm sorry.
Mom, do you know
who wrote this book?
Yeah. It's, what,
Van Helsing something.
Now, he's the one
that fights Godzilla.
Right?
Dracula, Mom.
Well, then which
is the really tall one?
That's Godzilla.
My God!
Abraham Van Helsing.
This is great!
This is German.
[thunder]
[thunder]
Let it begin.
[thunder]
[thunder]