done. Don't retire the trophy. Your career is just starting. Some old shit is retiring, so I have to have my picture taken with somebody's baby. Everybody on the account is doing it. You're nothing special. Do they hire us to write ads or play the clown? - Both. - I hate this. Hate this. You can relax. I've got to reset the lights. - This is ridiculous. - Your wife sees these pictures, - she'll beg you for offspring. - How have you held out so long? My reproductive life is none of your business. Where's the mother? - I don't know. Around here somewhere. - Thanks, guys. Come on. Whoops! Sorry. Whoops! Sorry. Shall we dance? Give me a break. - Is this yours? - No. My fault. It was her, in her underwear. There had to be a reason why I was seeing her again. Whoa! Hey, wait a minute. I don't want to do this all day long. I cannot work like this! You're married. The ring. Yeah, I am. - It's OK. I'm married, too. - Really? I was too young. He was too young. - I got married young, too. - Really? - Are you still in love with her? - Yes. - Yes. Absolutely. - Absolutely? If you're still in love with her, how come you're here with me? - It's OK. You're nervous. - Nervous? I'm not nervous. Oh, come on. Hey! - Why do you think I'm nervous? - Because you don't know what you want. You're home late. - You scared me. - I'm sorry. Did you eat? - I got something down town. - I went back to the doctor today. - Everything OK? - My tests are all in. - Yeah? - It's not me. I'm fine. - What does that mean? - It means I'm OK. Obviously not, if you can't get pregnant. - I can get pregnant. - Then why aren't you pregnant? Because you can't get me pregnant. - You believe that? - It's nothing to be ashamed of. Who's ashamed? My mother said my father was the same. Your mother? You told your mother about this? Did anybody not hear about it? Was it on the news? Let's invite your parents over and put some chairs at the end of the bed. A little home instruction. - Get your butt a little higher, Jake. - Russ, he knows what he's doing. If he knew what he was doing, we'd be grandparents by now. I'm sure he'd have pointers for me. You told your mother? Jesus! - It could be a very simple problem. - What problem? There is no problem. Compared to what I had to go through, your test is easy. What's the big deal? - Would you like to have to do that? - I'd help. Very funny. Well, I'm sorry, babe. If you're fine and I'm not, there's nothing I can do. - I'm sorry. I feel bad, but... - Problems can be treated. Surgery? That's exactly where I'd like to have surgery. I'd like men poking around with scalpels at my groin. No, no, no. Nobody is touching my balls. Maybe this is not really the place to discuss this. - Why are you being a baby? - I'm not. You are. You know how many men do this? Whatever number minus one. I'm not doing it. I knew you'd be a baby, so I called Dr Stanky and asked what's involved. You called Dr Stanky? - OK, what's involved? - A couple of minutes and a plastic cup. It's all very discreet and professional. - Hi, can I help you? - Yeah, yeah. Jefferson Briggs. Well, I have my sp... my... my... - My... - Sample? Yeah, sample. Yeah. - There you go. OK. - Thank you. I'm sorry. Are you sure there's any in here? My inability to impregnate Kristy was blamed on tight shorts, something to do with my body temperature. It seemed rather flimsy. To go through the hell of a fertility check and discover that my undergarment preference was to blame seemed as silly and pointless as everything else about my life. Jake! Jakey! My temperature's just right. It's the perfect time. Where are you? Can you hurry? Hiding from my wife, hiding from my manly obligation, our love nest had become a stud farm. Jakey, my temperature's just right. Where are you? ------------------------------ Читайте также: - текст Начало на английском - текст Место встречи изменить нельзя на английском - текст Фарфоровая луна на английском - текст Король Лир на английском - текст Турецкий гамбит на английском |