cowboy
crap on me, cos it won't do squat!
Nooo!
So, anyway, after med school,
Elaine and I moved into her place
so I could finish my residency.
Elaine is from Brooklyn, Canarsie.
You're from...
- Grosse Pointe.
- Michigan, right.
Grosse Pointe. Isn't that
an ugly name for a rich city?
So you left college and came here
with the mountain climber...
He was a graduate student,
writing a book on climbing.
The book, right. Mountain of something...
Mountain of my Misgiving.
Something funny about that?
So what happened to him,
up there on the mountain?
He never actually climbed it. He left.
He dumped you?
No, he didn't dump me,
not that it's any of your business.
He happened to be wildly in love with me.
- You got cold feet, huh?
- No, I didn't get cold feet.
I liked him OK, I just didn't... love him.
OK?
Besides...
- He's dead.
- Dead?
Dead, as in deceased?
- Ooh.
- What do you mean, "ooh"?
I didn't kill him.
We were on a glacier.
I take a hike.
He decides to take a nap... and froze.
- What?
- You have the reddest lips I've ever seen.
I mean, Elaine has red lips, but
I don't think I've ever seen lips that red,
except maybe on a birthday balloon.
You're drunk.
Not only that, but
do you realise you're pretty?
Not great-looking, but you are
definitely pretty, in a clean sort of way.
- I'll get the check.
- Not only that...
Morning.
Where am I?
Maggie's.
She had a mail run this morning.
- Do you mind if I...?
- No, help yourself.
Who are you?
Rick.
She left the keys to her truck.
She didn't think you'd feel like
jogging into town today.
The bed I slept in last night is
the same bed Maggie slept in?
No. We sleep in the other room.
Oh.
Oh.
Hey, Marilyn.
This is the last time I'm gonna
have to tell you this. There is no job.
Would you please stop smiling at me?
You're constantly smiling at me.
- What is he doing here?
- She did it again.
For God's sakes!
What did she use on you, a steak knife?
Swiss army. She snuck up behind me.
If I didn't bury the gun I'd be dead by now.
- Give me the keys, Walter. It's my truck.
- Who are you?
- Over my dead body.
- Six's wife.
- If that's the way you want it, Walter...
- Hey, hey!
- What's the problem here?
- Him. He's the problem.
You've gnawed through my nerves
like a rat through plaster, and I've had it.
- Lay it off on me!
- I'm gonna finish you!
- Come on, you wanna do it? Let's do it!
- Quiet! This is my office!
People get sick, people get shot, people
get hurt, I don't have a problem with that.
Believe me,
I wouldn't have it any other way.
You know how close you came
to killing this man?
If you hadn't hit his scapula
or bounced off a rib,
you might have
punctured his aorta or a lung.
With really bad luck, you might have
hit the muscle, strangling his heart.
If that didn't finish him off,
you might have severed his spinal cord,
leaving him belly-up
like a bug on its back.
I had no idea it was this complicated.
Well, it is.
So I ask you again: What has this man
done to deserve a cardiac tamponade?
- I'm invisible...
- I told you...
I've tried kindness, I've tried crying,
I've tried... laughter.
I'm at the end of my rope, Walter.
If I don't kill you,
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
- Number nine?
- Number six.
I don't listen to her because
no matter what I do, it's wrong.
She doesn't want me to drink in bed,
I don't drink in bed.
She doesn't like me with the guys,
and then she complains
I'm home too much.
So I've tuned her out.
Well, what are we gonna do now?
As far as I can tell,
we have three ways to go.
Divorce, separation, or you can
start talking to one another.
How many hands do I see for divorce?
Separation?
Well, then...
Is that a phone?
That is definitely a telephone.
Well, start talking.
What?
Elaine! No, I know I'm not in Anchorage.
Why am I in Cicely, Alaska? Long story.
I promise I'll explain when I get back.
The most important thing
is what