Alaska with me."
"We talked about it, but there was always
a good excuse not to make the move."
"Then she died."
"So I decided to do it for the both of us,
and I've loved every damn minute of it."
"It gave me permission to become
the person I've always longed to be -
a hermit, living in a shack
in the middle of nowhere."
"I leave the enclosed cash
to Holling's bar,
in hopes that you'll all go and have a drink
or two on me when you leave here."
"I'd also like Holling to oversee
my cremation, per these instructions."
I'll skip these cremating instructions,
if it's OK with you.
Please do.
"And as for my other possessions,
to Chris I leave my extensive collection of
obscure country and bluegrass records..."
Wow.
"...to be played in my memory
on the Chris In The Morning show."
"And I want everybody to listen.
This is good stuff."
- "Finally..."
- Finally!
"...the remainder of my estate,
which consists of 100 acres
and my team of champion huskies,
I leave to my coexecutors..."
Well, what? What you think we are?
Lip-readers?
Well, it says here Dr Joel Fleischman
and Maggie O'Connell.
- Wait. You must have read that wrong.
- No. It's your name here, big as life.
What are you talking about?
I barely knew him.
Why would he leave me anything,
much less everything?
- Maybe he liked you.
- That's crazy. He barely knew me.
- What do you know about this?
- Soapy and I never discussed you.
- Yeah? What'd you talk about?
- None of your business.
- What are you trying to hide?
- A man, a dead man, put you in his will,
and you would think
there's some ulterior motive.
He thinks you're Dr Frankenstein
and can bring him back.
You put something
in his head. What?
- You're unbelievable.
- Was he some kinda nut?
Soapy, unlike you, was a kind,
generous, wonderful human being.
Whatever the hell he was...
this gathering is adjourned.
I don't get this.
Why would he leave anything to me?
The guy never even paid his bill.
So I have inherited 100 acres of dirt
and a pack of wolves.
We've inherited.
Team of dogs like that'll bring
ten, maybe twelve, hundred dollars.
Wonderful. So with enough work from me,
I'll have inherited a set of new snow tyres.
I was thinking we could set up an
animal preserve and name it after Soapy.
An animal preserve? So the Alaskans can
have someplace to get back to nature?
What's wrong with that?
Nothing. It's original and it's just what's
needed amidst all this urban sprawl.
All right, you can have my half.
But you gotta name a petting zoo after me.
You know why he did this to me? I bet you
he was annoyed I told him he was old.
The man was 82.
What was I supposed to say?
Right, Fleischman. He killed himself
just to ruin your weekend.
- All right, you tell me why he did it.
- To annoy you.
I think you hit it
right on the head.
Ferlin Husky's
"Why Do I Put Up With You?"
Man, you just gotta love
country music.
It's just so raw
with honesty and passion.
"She's Actin' Single,
I'm Drinkin' Double".
"I'm the Only Hell
Chris, you play this crap
at six o'clock in the morning,
you'll be looking down so many barrels
you'll think you're in an NRA convention.
And I'll be leading the pack!
The reason it's called book-keeping
is that I need to keep those records.
If it were book-losing,
they'd have called it that.
Chief Ronkonhoma
is here to see you.
- Chief who?
- And his friend Fred and their accountant.
Dr Fleischman?
I'm William Casebear.
This is Chief Ronkonhoma
and his friend Fred.
I represent
the financial interests of their tribe.
You're the first patient to show up
with his accountant.
The chief's not ill. He's interested
in buying Sanderson's land from you.
You are?
Just one sec.
The tribe has parlayed its income
from the pipeline and mineral rights
into a substantial portfolio,
even by Wall Street standards.
We had the sense not to go into
Ginny Maes or junk bonds.
Which has put us in
a rather