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Самолётом, поездом и автомобилем

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Truck. Truck.
- What?
Well, this isn't so bad.
I thought it'd be
a lot worse than this.
They'll be able to buff this out.
Oh, yeah.
Wow!
I mean, that was close.
We can laugh about it now.
We're all right.
The whole, uh...
Maybe we should get my stuff off
the road? What do you think? Yeah.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Oh, my back!
Ohh! God.
Come on. Here we go.
Thanks.
Put it down for a second.
Whew. What a night.
What?
What?
You finally did it to yourself.
Huh?
I mean, good luck
turning the car in.
They'll be happy as pigs in shit
to see you.
How could you rent the thing anyway
without a credit card?
You couldn't. How could you do it?
I gave this gal behind the counter
a set of shower curtain rings.
You can't rent a car
with shower curtain rings.
Well, uh...
somehow your, uh...
Diner's Club card
wound up in my wallet,
- and I, uh, just...
- You stole it!
- Not exactly.
- You stole my card!
I didn't!
You stole my card,
rented a car and burned it!
I found it in my wallet!
I thought you put it there.
Why would I put it there?!
- Kindness?
- Kindness?
Kindness? You stole it!
He stole it!
No, I was going
to send it back to you
with whatever
the rental car charge was.
You didn't give me your address!
You just ditched me.
I had no money, no cards, nothing.
- Give it back!
- I can't!
Why not?
Because!
Because why?
Because when we stopped to gas up
I put the card back in your wallet.
Are you mad at me?
You could've killed me,
slugging me in the gut.
That's how Houdini died.
Ow. Ah!
One good thing - with all this
fresh air, we'll sleep like babies.
Neal? Hey, hey, Neal, wait up.
I need one room.
If you're pissed,
we should get separate rooms.
- Get your own room.
- I need a credit card.
All right. All right.
I have, uh...
Diner's...
Visa... and a gasoline card.
Uh... these aren't...
uh, credit cards.
- All right. I'll pay cash. Cash.
- 42.50.
How about... $17?
I can't do that.
Please. Have mercy.
I've been wearing
the same underwear since Tuesday.
I can vouch for that.
I don't... I don't own the place.
$17 and a hell of a nice watch.
Ouch.
Um, would you like a room?
I got a slight problem here.
I don't have the 42.50.
You have $17 and a good watch?
No, I don't. I have, uh...
I have $2 and, uh...
and a Casio.
Mm. I'm going to have to say
good night, so...
Well, Marie, once again,
my dear, you were as right as rain.
I am, without a doubt,
the biggest pain in the butt
that ever came down the pike.
I meet someone whose company
I really enjoy, and what do I do?
I go overboard.
I smother the poor soul.
I cause him more trouble
than he has a right to.
God, I got a big mouth.
When am I ever gonna wake up?
I wish you were here with me
right now.
But I guess...
that's not gonna happen.
Not now, anyway.
What did I do to get hooked up
with this guy?
You're gonna
freeze to death out there.
- How's your drink?
- It's good.
Go for another one?
Where you been?
Ever been to Italy? You had Amaretto?
Yeah. This is a gin.
Is there a tequila there?
Ahem. A little Mexican trip.
- Tequila?
- Here you go. Coming up.
Is this a good combo or what?
No. Probably not.
Me, I'm going back to, uh, Jamaica.
Jamaica, man. Have some rum, man.
Dig it. Iree, iree, man.
Oh, shit.
You know, when I'm dead and buried,
all I'll have to prove I was here
was some shower curtain rings
that didn't fall down.
Great legacy, huh?
At the very least,
at the absolute minimum,
you've got a woman you love
to grow old with, right?
You love her, don't you?
Love is not a big enough word.
It's not a big enough word
for how I feel about my wife.
- To the wives.
- To the wives.
Wow.
Well, let me just
close this conversation
by saying you are
one unique individual.
What is unique? Latin for "asshole"?
- Grab the vodka or I'll kick 'em.
- Yeah.
Well, I'll tell you...
As much trouble as I've had,
one day I'll look back and laugh.
You
Самолётом, поездом и автомобилем Самолётом, поездом и автомобилем

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