pure!
You're all so shrewd, you folk,
I'm in a state of shock!
You blame one another while
Each of you is equally vile!
Though we Russians feel contempt
For severe punishment,
Yet I'll have to try you, friends,
For a criminal offence.
We shall put you in a barrel,
Throw you in the sea to travel.
It's not a travel first class,
So don't expect a ship from us.
May the ocean take you round,
Get you to the Buyan Island,
I will give you my accordion,
So that you might not grow wild.
I'm sorry, I must say,
The accordion doesn't play,
However, as a sign of culture,
You will need it anyway.
As for poor wretched tsar,
Let him travel very far,
I don’ care a wooden button
For his waning fighting star.
God be praised, now, in the end,
He has taken punishment
Now, without hesitation,
You can marry me my friend!
I would gladly marry you,
I‘ve got a wife, I don’t need two,
There many men around
Single men, and good ones, too.
I’m neither Turk nor Greek
I’m married,  and I’ll stick
To my family;  I’ll never
Change my wife for any chick!
So  you’re incapable at all
To help out the grieving girl
But so far I am a princess
The tsar’s daughter after all!
Now if you don’t take your chance
And get me what I want for once
You will get out of here
Straight into the butcher’s hands!
Come, come, princess, don’t be sad
Don’t pretend you are in bad!
And if love has not come out
I apologize for that.
I just cannot be in debt,
So I’ll do something instead,
I will side with you in trouble,
Do the best I can, you bet!
We will not shed tears for once
For it's time to eat and dance,
Come out, stand in front of me,
Something That Cannot Be!
It is a long time that I
Have been standing nearby ,
Waiting for you to wind up,
Not daring to interrupt!
Now, my fellow countrymen,
Keep your chins up if you can,
After all, we are not here
For a funeral, are we?
Bring us all that you can get,
Marmalade and chocolate
Finnish bacon, sausage, ham,
Smoked meat from Amsterdam!
Get that Swiss cheese wrapped in rolls,
I mean the one that's full of holes.
Make for us a feast unheard of
And unseen within the walls!
And if somebody wants a drink,
Home-brew, wine or anything,
He may have a glass or two,
There's something to drink to!
Sergei Bezrukov (Fedot)
Chulpan Khamatova (Marusya)
Victor Sukhorukov (Tsar)
Dmitry Dyuzhev (General)
Alexander Revva (Old Witch)
Eugenia Dobrovolskaya (Nursemaid)
Mikhail Efremov (Something-That-Cannot-Be)
Irina Bezrukova (Princess)
Director
Lyudmila Steblyanko
Translated from the Russian
by Alec Vagapov
Subtitles by Boris Bulgakov
Oh my!
THANK YOU