him search and find a deer
With the branch of golden horns.
There's nowhere in the world
Such a deer, take my word!
I can tell you that for sure
As a naturalist, my lord!
Shake of idleness! Today
You'll have to get under way,
I'm in a desperate need of a deer,
It's a state mission, I must say.
If you're a loyal man,
You will do the best you can,
Go across the hills and swamps,
Find a deer with golden horns.
Don't talk back, and do not scold,
Go and do as you are told,
Or you'll get to know right off
How your head can be cut off!
Tell me, why are you looking blue?
Does anything worry you?
Has the soup too little salt?
Has the beefsteak any fault?
Dash! To eat I'm not willing,
It's the Tsar again. The villain!
He will call me to account
For the task that he has given.
He's s more ruthless than a foe!
He has ordered me to go
And find a deer, and he wants
A deer with golden horns!
There's no reason to be sad,
Things are not as bad as that.
Stand before me, Frol and Tit,
Get immediately what we need!
Do you hear what I say?
Go and do it without delay!
You don't have to doubt us,
We have done it many times!
You've been waiting for it, right?
Well, I've got it, look outside!
Did you order me a deer?
There you are! You can take pride!
The deer's horns, for you to know,
Give out a brilliant sparkling glow,
It's as bright as broad daylight,
So you'll need no lamp at night.
No such deer can be found
In these places, nor around!
There are three of them or so
In Baghdad, for all I know.
Now, you soldier, figure out
Where is Moscow and where's Baghdad,
Could you possibly have travelled
To Baghdad in just one night?
Damn! You're really being funny!
The deer isn't so fine, eh?
Didn't you tell me yesterday
To get one for love or money?
If you are as rich as that,
I'll return it to Baghdad.
Who's the ruler there now?
The chap will really be glad!
Lay off, Fedya, and don't fret,
Or you will lay down your head!
I know what you're driving at,
I see through you, remember that!
Anyhow, to save your face
I'll excuse you in this case,
Here's a coin for you, buy vodka.
Now get out of this place!
You have done your best, old chap,
Yet Fedot escaped the trap,
Here's the official notice
of your death I have made up.
First, however, I must think
How to kill you best, you pig,
Shall I strangle you with a pillow,
Or just strike with a candlestick?
I have come to grief, my lord,
You may hit me, here's the sword,
I just want to tell you: don't
Bother me with this Fedot!
I'm a fool, but judge me not ,
I'm a man of a different sort,
I would rather go to combat
Or take part in an assault.
You are brave when sword in hand,
But you've got to understand,
You must overcome the soldier
Using wisdom, and - unarmed!
If you do all anyhow,
As you've done it up to now,
I shall bring you to the scaffold,
Under axe, you scarecrow.
You are suffering from nerves,
There's a pimple on your nose,
It's the politics that tells
On your spirit and your health.
Take this pill of rabbit's dung,
It's been really well done!
It's much healthier than honey
Though it doesn't taste so fine.
And although it isn't sweet,
And some people die from it,
Those who manage to survive
Live a long and healthy life!
It's all rubbish what you say,
You had better find a way
And tell me how the soldier-man
Can be put out of the way.
Though you really tried hard
All your tricks have fallen flat!
Don't pretend you're hard of hearing,
I just don't believe in that!
You should pull your wits together,
Try and use your magic better,
For we must admit: Fedot
Isn't so brainless as we thought!
Generally, I'm sly and shrewd,
Or, should I say, I'm quite crooked,
But today my luck is out,
I can't make my magic good!
All these days I've been in pain,
Burning inside, all aflame,
I've been suffering of late
From inflammation of the brain!
Oh my back! I'm feeling stiff!
I think I need some relief!