companies.
If your son has the cards, we can get
a location on him when he uses them.
I don't think he knows
how to use a credit card.
Wow! It worked!
- Cedric.
- Yes?
- Don't count your tips in public.
- I'm sorry.
And find out everything you can
about that young fellow.
Front, please!
Enjoy your stay with us.
Don't forget to remind
your dad, when he arrives...
...he must come down and
sign a couple of things.
- Thank you, you've been helpful.
CEDRIC: May I take your bag?
Up here to your left.
Herbert Hoover
once stayed on this floor.
The vacuum guy?
No, the president.
This is one of our finest suites, sir.
This is great!
Wow! A huge bed just for me!
Luxurious and spacious.
How convenient.
Hey.
Did you want the key in the bag?
Or did you want to hang on to it?
I'll hang on to it.
Everything all right?
- Is the temperature okay?
- It's okay.
- Do you know how the TV works?
- I'm 10 years old. TV's my life.
Well...
I'm sorry.
And there's plenty more
where that came from.
Thank you.
Would you mind if I worked
on my cannonballs?
No.
Thanks.
KEVIN:
Yikes!
This is a vacation.
Hold it right there!
It's me, Johnny.
I knew it was you.
I could smell you getting off
the elevator.
- Two scoops, sir?
- Two? Make it three, I'm not driving.
DAME: Gardenias, Johnny, your favorite.
- Thank you.
You was here last night too,
wasn 't you?
I was singing at the Blue Monkey
last night.
She was not.
She was smooching your brother.
You was here and you was
smooching with my brother.
DAME: That's a dirty lie.
- See?
Don 't give me that.
You been smooching everybody!
Snuffy, Al, Leo...
... Little Moe with the gimpy leg,
Cheeks, Boney Bob, Cliff...
I could go on forever, baby.
DAME:
You have me all wrong!
JOHNNY:
All right...
... I believe you.
But my Tommy gun don 't!
Johnny!
You're the only duck in my pond!
Get down on your knees
and tell me you love me.
DAME:
Baby! I'm over the moon for you!
You gotta do better than that!
If my love was an ocean, Lindy'd have
to take two planes to get across it.
Maybe I'm off my hinges,
but I believe you.
That's why I'm letting you go.
I'm gonna give you till the count
of three, to get your lousy...
... lying...
... lowdown, four-flushing carcass
out my door!
She's rat bait.
One!
Two!
(LAUGHING)
Three!
Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.
And a Happy New Year.
Housekeeping.
FRANK OVER RECORDER:
We know a guy who can do the cool jerk
We know a guy who can do the cool jerk
This cat they're talkin ' about
I wonder who could it be
'Cause I know I'm the heaviest cat
The heaviest cat you ever did see
When they see me
Walkin ' down the street
None of the fellas want to speak
Hey, hey, hey
On their faces they wear a silly smirk
'Cause they know
I'm the king of the cool jerks
Get out of here, you pervert,
or I'll slap you silly!
Uh...
Oh, you're cooking, Frankie.
Oh, my foot!
Didn't look this bad on our honeymoon.
Uncle Rob lives here.
If they're back from Paris,
I'll drop in on them.
They usually give pretty
good presents.
Good night, Mom.
Good night, Kevin.
Your drawers, sir.
Don't flash these babies around here!
There could be girls on this floor!
I was very careful, sir.
You can't be too careful
with underwear.
I understand.
I'm sorry. You wanted a tip.
That won't be necessary, sir.
I still have some tip left over.
No tip?
Okay.
No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait!
The doorman will be happy
to find you a taxi...
Mr. McCallister.
Excuse me.
Sure.
And how are we this