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Pleased to meet you, Calvin...
Marty...
Klein.
- Do you mind if I sit here ?
- No. Fine.
No. Good. Fine. Good.
That's a big bruise you have there.
Lorraine, are you up there ?
Oh, my God ! It's my mother !
Quick ! Put your pants back on !
Marty, how long have you been in port ?
- Excuse me ?
- I guessed you're a sailor.
That's why you wear that life preserver.
Coast guard.
Sam, here's the young man you hit
with your car. He's all right. Thank God.
What were you doing
in the middle of the street ?
Don't pay attention to him.
He's in one of his moods.
Quit fiddling with that thing.
Come in here to dinner.
You already know Lorraine.
This is Milton, this is Sally...
that's Toby, and over there
in the playpen is little baby Joey.
So, you're my uncle Joey.
Better get used to these bars, kid.
Yes. Joey just loves
being in his playpen.
He cries whenever we take him out,
so we leave him in there all the time.
Well, Marty, I hope you like meat loaf.
- Well, listen, I really ought to...
- Sit here, Marty.
Sam, stop fiddling with that thing
and come in here and eat your dinner.
Look at it roll.
Now we can watch
Jackie Gleason while we eat.
Our first television set.
Dad just picked it up today.
Do you have a television ?
Well, yeah.
You know, we have two of them.
Wow ! You must be rich.
Honey, he's teasing you.
Nobody has two television sets.
I've seen this one. This is a classic.
This is where Ralph dresses up
as a man from space.
What do you mean, you've seen this ?
It's brand-new.
Yeah, well, I saw it on a rerun.
What's a rerun ?
You'll find out.
You know, Marty,
you look so familiar to me.
Do I know your mother ?
Yeah, I think maybe you do.
Then I'll call her.
I don't want her to worry about you.
You can't.
That is, nobody's home.
Yet.
Listen.
Do you know where Riverside Drive is ?
It's on the other end of town.
A block past Maple. East end of town.
A block past Maple.
That's John F. Kennedy Drive.
Who the hell is John F. Kennedy ?
Mother ?
With Marty's parents out of town...
don't you think
he ought to spend the night ?
After all,
Dad almost killed him with the car.
That's true, Marty.
I think you should spend the night.
I think you're our responsibility.
- Well, gee, I don't know.
- He can sleep in my room.
I got to go !
Thanks very much. You were all great.
See you all later.
Much later.
He's a very strange young man.
He's an idiot.
Comes from upbringing.
His parents are probably idiots, too.
Lorraine, you ever have a kid
who acts that way, I'll disown you.
Don't say a word.
No names. I want
to know nothing about you.
- Listen, Doc...
- Quiet !
Don't tell me anything.
- You got to help...
- Quiet.
I'm going to read your thoughts.
Let's see now.
You come here from a great distance ?
- Yeah. Exactly.
- Don't tell me !
You want me to subscribe
to the "Saturday Evening Post".
- No.
- Not a word now !
Quiet.
Donations.
You want me to make a donation...
to the Coast Guard Youth Auxiliary.
I'm from the future.
I came here in a time machine
that you invented.
Now, I need your help
to get back to the year 1985.
My God !
Do you know what this means ?
It means that
this damn thing doesn't work at all !
You got to help me. You are the only one
who knows how your time machine works.
Time machine ?
I haven't invented any time machine.
Okay. I'll prove it to you.
Look at my driver's license.
Expires 1987.
Look at my birthday.
I haven't even been born yet.
And look at this picture.
It's my brother, my sister and me.
Look at her sweatshirt, Doc.
"Class of 1984" ?
Pretty mediocre photographic fakery.
They cut off your brother's hair.
I'm telling the truth.
You got to believe me.
Then tell me, future boy...
who's president of the United States
in 1985 ?
- Ronald Reagan.
- Ronald Reagan ? The actor ?
Then who's vice president ?
Jerry Lewis ?
- I suppose Jane Wyman is the First Lady.
- Wait, Doc !
And Jack
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