the last time you make me
look bad in front of those kids.
I make 31,000 dollars a year
and I've got a home.
I'm not throwing it away on you.
But some day, man,
when you've forgotten this place
and they've forgotten you
and you're wrapped up in your
pathetic life, I'm going to be there.
That's right. And I'm going to kick
the living shit out of you, man.
- Are you threatening me?
- What are you going to do about it?
You think anybody's
going to believe you?
You think anybody's going to take
your word over mine?
I'm a man of respect around here,
a swell guy.
You're a lying sack of shit
and everybody knows it.
You're a real tough guy. Come on.
On your feet.
Let's find out how tough you are.
I want to know how tough you are.
I'll give you the first punch.
Right here. Just take the first shot.
I'm begging you. Take a shot!
Just take one shot.
That's all I need, just one swing.
That's what I thought.
You're a gutless turd.
(Creaking)
A naked blonde walks into a bar
with a poodle under one arm
and a two-foot salami
under the other.
She lays the poodle on the table.
The bartender says, "I suppose
you won't be needing a drink?"
The lady says...
Shit!
(Vernon) Jesus Christ Almighty!
(Crashing)
I forgot my pencil.
(Vernon) God damn it!
What in God's name
is going on in here?
- What was that ruckus?
- What ruckus?
I was in my office
and I heard a ruckus.
- Could you describe it, sir?
- Watch your tongue.
Argh!
(Vernon) What is this?
What is that? What is that noise?
(Andrew) What noise?
(Claire) There wasn't any noise.
(Bender screams)
Was that the noise?
No, it wasn't. That was not
the noise I was talking about.
I may not have caught you in the act
this time, but you can bet I will.
You make book on that, missy.
And you!
I will not be made a fool of.
- It was an accident.
- You're an asshole!
Sue me.
So, Ahab, kybo my doobage?
Yo, waistoid!
You're not going to blaze up in here.
(lndistinct)
Shit.
(# Blues music plays)
(Johnson giggles)
(lmitates blues-singer's accent)
Chicks cannot hold their smoke.
Do you know how popular I am?
I'm so popular. Everybody
loves me so much at this school.
(Johnson) Poor baby.
Five.
(Claire giggles)
(# Rock music plays)
Argh!
Mr... Mr Tearney.
A history of slight mental illness?
- No wonder he's so fucked up.
- Afternoon, Dick.
- Hey, Carl. How are you?
- Good.
- Good. What's up?
- Not much.
- What are you doing?
- Nothing. Just a little homework.
- Homework?
- Yeah.
Confidential files?
This is a sensitive area and certain
people would be very embarrassed.
I would appreciate it
if this could be something
that you and I
could keep between us.
- What will you do for me?
- What would you like?
- Got 50 bucks?
- What?
50 bucks.
No, no, man.
- You got a middle name?
- Yeah. Guess.
Your middle name is Ralph, as in puke.
Your birth date is March 1 2th.
You're 5 foot, 9.5 inches.
You weigh 1 30 pounds.
Your social security number
is 04938091 3.
Wow! Are you psychic?
No.
Would you mind telling me
how you know all this about me?
- I stole your wallet.
- (Johnson) Give it to me.
- No.
- (Johnson) Give it!
- You're a thief, too.
- I'm not.
Multi-talented!
There's only two bucks
and a beaver shot.
- What?
- A nudie picture. It's perverted.
Let's see it.
- Are all these your girlfriends?
- Some of them.
- What about the others?
- Some I consider my girlfriends.
- Some I just consider.
- Consider what?
Whether I want to hang out with them.
You don't believe
in just one guy, one girl?
- Do you?
- Yeah. That's the way it should be.
- Not for me.
- Why not?
- Why so much in your purse?
- Why so many girlfriends?
I asked you first.
I don't know.
I guess I never throw anything away.
- Neither do I.
- Oh.
This is the worst fake I D
I've ever seen.
- You realise you made yourself 68?
- (Johnson) I know. I goofed it.
- (Andrew) Why do you need fake I D?
- So I can