mine, Bender.
For two months, I got ya.
I got ya.
What can I say?
I'm thrilled.
Oh, I sure that's exactly what you want
these people to believe. You know something?
You ought to spend a little more time
trying to do something with yourself...
and a little less time
trying to impress people.
You might be better off.
All right. That's it!
I'm gonna be
right outside those doors.
The next time I have to come
in here, I'm cracking skulls.
Fuck you!
Fuck.
Wake up!
Who has to go
to the lavatory?
- That's real intelligent.
- You're right.
It's wrong
to destroy literature.
It's such fun to read.
And...
"Molay" really pumps my nads.
Moliere.
I love his work.
Big deal. Nothing to do
when you're locked in a vacancy.
Speak for yourself.
Do you think I'd speak for you?
I don't even know your language.
Hey, you grounded tonight?
I don't know. My mom said I was.
My dad told me just to blow her off.
There's a big party at Stubby's.
His parents are in Europe.
It should be pretty wild.
Are you going to go? Yeah?
- I doubt it.
- How come?
'Cause if I do what my mother tells me not
to do, it's because my father says it's okay.
It's like this whole, big monster deal.
It's endless. It's a total drag.
It's like,
any minute, divorce.
- Who do you like better?
- What?
- You like your old man better than your mom?
- They're both screwed.
No, I mean, if you had
to choose between 'em.
I don't know. Probably go live
with my brother.
I mean, I don't think either one
of them gives a shit about me.
- It's like they use me to get back at each other.
- Ha!
- Shut up!
- You're just feeling sorry for yourself.
Yeah, if I didn't,
nobody else would.
Oh, you're breaking
my heart. What? Sporto?
You get along
with your parents?
Well, If I say yes,
I'm an idiot, right?
You're an idiot anyway.
But if you say you get along with
your parents, well, you're a liar too.
You know something, man?
If we weren't in school, I'd waste you.
Can you hear this?
You want me
to turn it up?
Hey, fellas, I mean...
I don't like my parents, either.
I mean, I don't...
I don't get along with them when
their idea of parental compassion...
is just, you know,
wacko, you know.
Dork.
Yeah?
You are a parent's
wet dream, okay?
That's the problem. Look, I can
see you getting all bunged up...
for them making you wear
these kind of clothes...
but, face it, you're
a neo-maxi-zoon-dweebie.
What would you be doing if You weren't
out making Yourself a better citizen?
Why do you have to
insult everybody?
I'm being honest,
asshole.
I would expect you
to know the difference.
Well, he's got a name. Yeah. Yeah?
What's your name?
Brian.
See?
My condolences.
What's your name?
What's yours?
- Claire.
- Claire?
Claire.
It's a family name.
- Oh. It's a fat girl's name.
- Oh, thank you.
You're welcome.
I'm not fat.
Not at present, but I can see you
really pushing maximum density.
You see, I'm not sure if you know this,
but there are two kinds of fat people...
there's fat people
that were born to be fat...
and there's fat people that were
once thin, but they became fat.
So when you look at them, You can
sort of see that thin person inside.
You see,
you're gonna get married.
You're gonna squeeze out
a few puppies, and then...
Oh. Obscene finger gestures
from such a pristine girl.
I'm not that pristine.
Are you a virgin?
I'll bet you
a million dollars that you are.
Let's end the suspense.
Is it going to
be a white wedding?
Why don't you just shut up.
Have you ever kissed
a boy on the mouth?
Have you ever
been felt up...
over the bra,
under the blouse...
your shoes off...
hoping to God your
parents don't walk in?
Do you want me to puke?
Over the panties...
no bra...
blouse unbuttoned,
Calvin's in a ball on the front seat...
past 11:00 on a school night?
Leave her alone.
I said leave her alone.
- You gonna make me?
- Yeah.
You and