cousin Kendall
from Indiana, he got high once.
And, you know, he started eating,
like, really weird foods.
Then he felt like he didn't belong
anywhere, kind of like Twilight Zone, kinda?
- Sounds like you.
- You guys keep up your talking and Vernon's gonna come in.
I got a meet this Saturday, and I'm not
gonna miss it on account of you boneheads.
Oh, and wouldn't that
be a bite?
Missing a whole
wrestling meet?
You wouldn't know
anything about it, faggot.
You never competed
in your whole life.
Oh, I know. I feel
all empty inside because of it.
I have such a deep admiration for guys who
roll around on the floor with other guys.
You'd never miss it. You don't
have any goals. Oh, but I do.
I want to be just like you.
I figure all I need's
a lobotomy and some tights.
You wear tights?
No, I don't wear tights.
- I wear the required uniform.
- Tights.
Shut up.
Woo!
There's not supposed to
be any monkey business.
Young man, have you
finished your paper?
Come on, Bender.
Don't screw around.
What are you going to
do? Drop dead, I hope.
All right!
Bender, that's-that's school property
there, and it doesn't belong to us.
- It's something not to be toyed with.
- That's very funny. Fix it.
You should really fix that.
Am I a genius?
No, you're an asshole. Fix the
door, Bender. What a funny guy.
Everyone, just shh. I've been
here before. I know what I'm doing.
No. Fix the door.!
Shut up.!
Goddamn it.!
Why is that door closed?
Why is that door closed? How are we
supposed to know? We're not supposed to move.
- Why?
- We're just sitting here like we're supposed to.
Who closed that door?
- I think a screw fell out of it.
- It just closed, sir.
Who?
She doesn't talk, sir.
Give me that screw.
- I don't have it.
You want me to yank you
out of that seat?
I don't have it. Screws fall out all
the time. The world's an imperfect place.
Give it to me, Bender.
Excuse me, sir. Why would
anybody want to steal a screw?
Watch it, young lady.
The door's
way too heavy, sir.
Damn it.!
Andrew Clark,
get up here.
Come on. Front and center.
Let's go.
- Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up?
- That's right.
Lfhe gets up, we'll all get up.
It'll be anarchy.!
Watch-Watch the magazines.
It's out of my hands.
That's very clever, sir,
but what if there's a fire?
I think violating fire codes
and endangering the lives of children...
would be unwise at this juncture
in your career, sir.
All right. What are you doing with this?
Get this out of here, for God's sake.
What's the matter with you?
Come on.
You know, the school comes equipped with
fire exits at either end of the library.
- Show Dick some respect.
- Let's go.
Go. Get back in your seat.
I expected a little more
from a varsity letterman.
You're not fooling
anybody, Bender.
The next screw that
falls out is gonna be you.
- Eat my shorts.
- What was that?
Eat... my... shorts.
You just bought yourself
another Saturday, mister.
- Oh, I'm crushed.
- You just bought one more right there.
Well, I'm free the Saturday after that.
Beyond that, I'll have to check my calendar.
Good! Because it's gonna be filled.
We'll keep going.
You want another one?
Say the word. Just say the word.
Instead of going to prison,
You'll come here.
- Are you through?
- No.
I'm doing society a favor.
That's another right now. So?
I've got you for the rest of your
life if you don't watch your step.
You want another one?
Yes.
You got it.! You got another one
right there. That's another one, pal.
Cut it out!
Stop.
- You through?
Not even close, bud.
- You got one more right there.
- You really think I give a shit?
Another.
- You through?
- How many is that?
That's seven, including the one
when you asked Mr. Vernon here...
whether Barry Manilow knew
he raided his closet.
- Now it's eight. Stay out of it.
- Excuse me, sir. It's seven.
Shut up, peewee.
You're