eat, brush my teeth--
- With your feet?
- Play the piano.
- I can make spaghetti.
- What can you do?
I can, uh,
tape all your buns together.
- I want to see what Claire can do.
- I can't do anything.
Everybody can do something.
There's one thing I can do.
Forget it.
It's way too embarrassing.
Ever seen "Wild Kingdom"?
He's been on for 30 years.
Okay.
You have to swear to God
you won't laugh.
Okay.
I can't believe
I'm actually doing this.
That's great!
Where'd you learn to do that?
Camp, seventh grade.
That was great, Claire.
My image of you
is totally blown.
You're a shit.
Don't do that to her.
- You swore to God you wouldn't laugh.
- Am I laughing?
You fucking prick!
What do you care what I think?
I don't even count, right?
I could disappear forever
and it wouldn't make any difference.
I may as well not even exist
at this school. Remember?
And, you,
don't like me anyway.
I have just as
many feelings as you do.
And it hurts just as much
when somebody steps on them.
God, you're so pathetic!
Don't you ever...
ever, compare yourself
to me, okay?
You got everything,
and I got shit.
Fucking Rapunzel, right?
School would probably shut down
if you didn't show up!
Queenie isn't here.
I like those earrings, Claire.
Shut up.
- Are those real diamonds, Claire?
- Just shut up.
I bet they are.
- Did you work for the money for those?
- Shut your mouth.
- Or did Daddy buy them for you?
- Shut up!
I bet he bought those.
I bet those were
a Christmas gift, right?
Know what I got for Christmas?
It was a banner-fucking-year
at the Bender family.
I got a carton of cigarettes.
The old man grabbed me and said,
"Smoke up, Johnny."
Go home and cry to your daddy.
Don't cry here, okay?
Will we be like our parents?
Not me...
ever.
It's unavoidable.
Just happens.
What happens?
When you grow up...
your heart dies.
Who cares?
I care.
I was just thinking,
I mean...
I know it's kind
of a weird time...
but I was just
wondering, um...
what will happen
on Monday?
When we're all together again.
I consider you guys my friends.
Am I wrong?
No.
So on Monday, what happens?
Still friends, you mean?
If we're friends now?
Yeah.
Want the truth?
Yeah, I want the truth.
I don't think so.
With all of us or just John?
With all of you.
- That's a real nice attitude, Claire.
- Oh, be honest, Andy.
If Brian came up to you on Monday,
what would you do?
Picture this.
You're there with all the sports.
You know exactly what you'd do.
You'd say hi and when he left...
you'd cut him up so your friends
wouldn't think you really liked him.
No way.
Okay. What if I came up to you?
- The same exact thing.
- You are a bitch!
Why? Because I'm telling
the truth, I'm a bitch?
No! 'Cause you know how shitty
that is to do to someone.
And you don't have the balls
to stand up to your friends.
What about you, you hypocrite?
Why don't you take Allison
to a heavy metal vomit party.
Take Brian or Andy out to
the parking lot to get high. Or me?
What would your friends say if we were
walking down the hall together?
They'd laugh their asses off.
You'd say we were doing it,
so they'd forgive you.
Don't talk about my friends! You don't
know them. You don't look at them.
And you certainly wouldn't
condescend to speak to them.
Just stick to what you know: shopping,
nail polish, your father's BMW...
- your drunk mother in the Caribbean--
- Shut up!
As far as being concerned about us
walking down the hallways together.
Forget it!
lt'll never happen!
Just bury your head
and wait for your fucking prom!
- I hate you!
- Yeah? Good!
I assume Allison and I are
better people than you guys?
Us weirdos?
- Would you do that to me?
- I don't have any friends.
- Well, if you did?
- No.
I don't think my kind
of friends would mind.
I just want to tell each of you
that I wouldn't do that.
I wouldn't and I will not.
Because I think that's real shitty.
Your friends