whispers ]
excuse me.  i can't--
what, may i ask,
is so funny ?
i-i just think it's--
it-it's just crazy.
i don't think it sounds
so crazy.  not really.
well, there are two lawyers
up in the third floor men's room
who think differently.
as a matter of fact,
one of them, right now,
is laughing so hard
he's choking in the sink.
i'm aware that
i'm not particularly,
um, well-liked.
but the fact remains,
i am innocent,
and i fully intend...
to have that proven
in a court of law.
now, mr. bates
and i feel, in this
particular situation,
you would be
the perfect lawyer
to handle my defense.
what is this ?
the two of you got together,
put your little heads together,
came up with that one.
that's a beauty.
the real question
is, "why ?"
why me, fellas ?
come on.
we need you
for political reasons.
political reasons ?
yes.
what kind of
political reasons ?
this case will create
a tremendous amount
of media coverage.
the animosity between you
and the judge is well known.
but we can use that
to our advantage.
why else would you defend
a man you dislike so much,
unless he was
truly innocent ?
and he is,
you know.
remarkable.
remarkable.
but, you see,
personally,
i don't give a shit.
why, you smug
son of a bitch !
henry !
henry !
henry.
i've never committed
a crime in my life.
judge,
if you're innocent,
truly innocent,
you don't need me.
get yourself
another lawyer.
[ gail giggling ]
[ gasping, sighing ]
[ continues laughing ]
what are you
laughing at, gail ?
well--
i really hate to
tell you this, but...
you remind me a little
of my ex-husband.
[ snores ]
[ laughs ]
in what way ?
because, during sex,
he would always say,
"go !  go !"
"go" ?
yeah.
i don't say "go."
i heard
you say "go."
no, i don't say "go."
"go" is... dumb.
i say "god."
are you sure
you didn't say "go" ?
i'm sure.
could have sworn
i heard a couple of go's
coming from you.
that was "god."
i said, "oh--"
sounded like "go."
it was "oh--"
then i changed to "god !"
[ groaning ]
oh, god !
[ knocking at door ]
oh, god.
[ groans ]
[ knocking continues ]
yeah ?
who is it ?
arthur !
it's jay !
jay ?
what the heck ?
it's my partner.
[ knocking continues ]
jay ?  jay ?
[ banging ]
all right, all right.
jay !
what do you say ?
hell of a night...
tonight !
it's 2:00
in the morning, jay.
i know it's 2:00.
the bars just closed.
so, what are
you doing here ?
i came to ask you
a question.
oh, yeah ?
what ?
i'm a good lawyer.
right ?
right.
i got earl soames off.
right ?
what are you
talking about, jay ?
i got earl soames.
i got earl soames !
yeah,
you got him off.
no.  no, i just didn't
get him off.
i got him off
on murder !
and we all know that
mr. soames did it.
right, he did it, jay.
he was guilty.
[ faucet running ]
we all know that.
brilliant defense.
brilliant !
- brilliant defense, arthur !
- brilliant.  right.
brilliant.
brilliant !
right.  right.
brilliant !
i got him off on a--
on a technicality.
i know, jay.
right.  good.
- mr. soames did it again.
- what do you mean ?
at 12:00 tonight, he went out,
and he killed two kids.
[ softly ]
oh, jesus.
i mean, he killed kids.
you see ?
aw, jay.
i gotta
take a piss.
jay--
[ sighs ]
my partner.
there's women in here.
hello ?
arthur,
what's goin' on ?
come on,
it won't hurt ya !
just duck a little.
you got about
three feet there.
[ laughing ]
for christ's sake,
come on.  get in.
how do ya feel ?
you ready to go ?
whoa, i thought
you flew, uh, planes.
you know ?
with wings.
no, no.
been flyin' helicopters
ever since korea.
come on.
get in.
[ groans ]
here you are.
button up.
close the door.
i gotta tell ya,
judge.
i'm not too happy
about this.
relax, arthur.
now just relax.
do you think maybe
we could just sorta,
you know, go out a bit ?
- kinda just go and hover ?
- we'll do any goddamn
thing you want.
now, hold on to