mccullaugh...
wanted in alabama for
assault with a deadly weapon.
is this the same
jeff mccullaugh ?
no.
but he fits the same
general description,
so they arrest him.
why didn't mccullaugh tell them
they had the wrong person ?
well, he did.
he told the public defender,
who i don't think
really believed him.
and he was too busy.
he never even
bothered to check.
[ laughing ]
are you serious ?
ah, wait.  it gets better.
while jeff is sittin'
in jail,
a guard is stabbed.
and the knife is planted
in jeff's cell.
and jeff is brought to trial
on a new charge--
this time, assaulting a guard
with a deadly weapon.
and a trial date is set,
six months from the time
he was first picked up.
i'll make a long story
short for you.
six months go by.
and a very shaky,
very crazy jeff mccullaugh
goes to court.
now, the public defender
who's defending him,
he says--
he tells jeff that
he can get him off
if he pleads guilty.
he'll make a deal
with the judge,
and he'll get him off.
time served.
right.  so he pleads guilty,
even though he's innocent.
that's right.  however,
the deal was made
with a judge callahan.
the day of the trial,
judge callahan
can not be found.
fleming is in his place.
fleming doesn't know
anything about the deal.
jeff pleads guilty.
fleming sentences jeff
to five years in prison.
[ exhales ]
goddamn.
so, one little guy...
has already spent
a year and a half
in jail,
because his lights
didn't work.
i've spent the last year
puttin' together enough
evidence to prove he's innocent.
and i prove it.
i get it all together,
and i bring it
into fleming's court,
and he throws it out.
why ?
because it came in
three days late.
[ moving plate ]
[ sighs ]
holy shit.
oh, that's incredible.
it's not incredible.
it's fleming.
[ laughs bitterly ]
no, arthur.
that's the law.
you can't fault fleming legally,
because he was going
by the letter of the law.
are you kidding ?
no, i'm not.
you talk to me like that,
you're not going to
get me into bed, dear.
yes, i will.
i've had tougher cases.
[ laughs ]
you're so easy !
you knew that, huh ?
[ laughing ]
that's why you
went out with me.
finish your egg roll.
[ laughing continues ]
arthur, arthur !
you'll never guess who
the police just grabbed.
who ?
take a guess.
warren, please !
this may sound crazy,
but judge fleming...
was just taken away.
what do you mean,
"taken away" ?
arrested.
come on.
i'm telling you,
they just arrested the judge.
your very own
favorite judge.
judge fleming ?
judge fleming.
what's the joke,
warren ?
there's a joke
connected to this.
there is no joke, arthur.
i don't know what it's all
about.  they're sitting on
this thing very hard.
i can't get
anything from anybody.
i'll see you later.
warren--
[ stammers ]
let me know the--
[ pigeons cooing ]
judge, we're ready
to reconvene.
be right there.
okay.
[ sniffs, coughs ]
congratulations,
counsel.
well, thank you very much.
what did i do ?
[ warren ]
come in, come in.
come in.
go.
judge fleming.
yeah ?
i was right.  he was arrested
this morning and booked.
we know that--
but arthur, you'll never
guess what for.
take a guess.
mm ?
what for ?
rape.  fleming was
booked on a rape !
- i can't stand it !
- isn't that the best !
[ laughing ]
rape !
unbelievable.
that's not the best.
-that's not the best.
no. i didn't tell you--
- give him the punch line.
tell you the punch line.
you're gonna love this.
his people just called
the office,
and mr. fleming would
like you to represent him.
me ?
[ raucous laughing ]
[ both lawyers laughing ]
me ?
[ laughing hysterically ]
why me ?
[ shrieking with laughter ]
i hate the son of a bitch !
i'm going crazy !
[ man ]
mr. kirkland, as you
undoubtedly know,
judge fleming
has been accused--
falsely, i might add--
of sexually assaulting
a young lady.
he wants you
to represent him
in this case.
[ laughs ]
[