these terrific
Playmate of the Month thing.
What happened?
They sent 'em back.
I know the feeling.
Hey, Felix.
You want to fool around?
No, I do not want to fool around.
Okay.
Want a drink of water?
I know this is going to come
as a surprise to you...
...but I would like to go to sleep.
- Could you tell me a story?
It's impossible.
Just tell me a story
and I swear I'll go to sleep.
What kind of a story?
You know, like a good movie story.
I am extremely sorry, but I do not
know the story of the Sound of Music.
Not that terrible thing.
You thought
the Sound of Music was terrible?
Four times I saw that terrible movie.
- You must've really hated it.
- Damned near killed my friend Eleanor.
It did?
In the balcony of the RKO 86th Street,
now torn down.
- Yes?
- It was playing continuous.
No intermission. Get it?
Not quite.
Her bladder burst.
- There's a lesson there for all of us.
- What about my story?
I'm planning to have a nightmare.
You can listen in.
What about all those stories
you got in your suitcase?
They are works in progress.
Listen, read me
some of your works in progress.
- I'm interested. I really am.
- You would not understand my work.
How do you know?
It has no beautiful people,
no hit songs, no happy ending.
Maybe I could show you
where you went wrong.
I know when I went wrong.
I went wrong when I opened my door
at 2:00 this morning.
Read me some of your stuff and
I promise I'll never ask you anything again.
Listen, I dig the sound of your voice.
Honest. It's very enervating.
You know what that means?
I told you. Come on, read me a story.
I don't want to read you my story.
Isn't there any other way
you can fall asleep?
- I'll read you my story.
- Great.
I'm a terrific audience, you'll see.
- I bet I'm asleep before Page 2.
- That would be a compliment.
Scream.
- Chapter 1. The City...
- Scream...
- That's the title, right? Scream?
- Yes.
- "The city..."
- That's a wild title.
Thank you. "The City came to life.
"The sun spit morning into Julian's face...
"...traffic's symphony responded
to day's downbeat...
"...as a million souls
wrapped in the cocoon of sleep..."
"The sun spit morning"?
"...as a million souls
wrapped in the cocoon of..."
Wait a minute.
The sun spit morning into this guy's face?
That was the image. Yes.
- His face got morning spit into it?
- I told you you wouldn't like it.
No, you didn't.
You said I wouldn't understand it.
I understand it, I don't dislike it.
- You don't?
- I hate it.
What do you mean,
"the sun spit morning"?
- It wasn't written for you.
- Who was it written for?
You don't have to raise your voice.
What right have you to say
a terrible thing like that:
- "The sun spit morning"?
- What are you yelling about?
It's a very simple metaphor:
"The sun spit morning".
That is not all.
The sun spit morning into this guy's face!
Barney, we didn't wake you, did we?
No. Not at all.
We thought we'd go down
and watch the garbage collectors at work.
Get a jump on the crowd.
I'm sorry if we caused you any disturbance.
No, really.
We planned to take a drive today
in the country, anyway.
And since the sun has begun to spit,
we just thought we'd get out there early...
...and catch some of the morning drool.
I sure hope I didn't embarrass you
with your friends.
That's not his old lady, is it?
He's a very nice looking person.
You're not so bad yourself. I'm not kiddin'.
Aren't you going to talk to me anymore?
Hello?
I'm sorry if I used all that vulgar language.
I'm sorry that you got bounced
out of your place and everything.
It's just that I was so goddamn...
- I mean, gosh darned mad.
- You had a right to be upset.
Considering the facts,
your conduct was exemplary.
Gee, you sure know
some terrific big words.
Language is my business.
You okay in there?
Yes.
What're you doin'?
Brushing my teeth.
Make much money at it?
Brushing my teeth
is not the attraction that it