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Филин и кошечка

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fetch.
That's too tough, huh?
- Give me your paw.
- I don't know what you want from me.
I want you to be a good little girl
and give Daddy your paw.
- Don't forget, I assimilated "impeccable."
- That was a good trick.
I'm trying to teach you another one.
If you can't learn it from me
I'll send you to obedient school.
- Now, give me your paw.
- Why are you doing this?
Pets don't ask questions, they do
as they're told, or they are given away.
Is that what you want?
To give you away to some poor family
who'll beat you?
Now just don't stand there
like a human being, give me your paw.
- Lf I do, will you quit acting like this?
- We make no deals with pets here.
I'm warning you, this is your last chance.
Give me your paw.
Hey, Felix?
My name is not Felix.
What did you say? I didn't hear you.
My name is not Felix.
I don't getcha.
My name is Fred.
The person you are staring at
is named Fred Sherman.
Not Felix. Fred. Short for Frederick.
Just like Washington, Wellington,
Wadsworth and Waverly.
Felix is just one more pompous,
empty notion...
...one more hopeless pretense.
"F" is for Fred.
It also stands for "fake"...
...and "fraud" and...
Phony?
And "failure."
That's right,
that's what it really stands for.
The good old American failure story.
- Felix.
- Fred, goddamn it!
Gimme a chance, will you?
I'm used to Felix.
I can't just assimilate Fred suddenly.
Stop using words that aren't indigenous
to your background.
Stop using words I don't understand.
Then maybe I'll understand
what I'm not supposed to understand.
Understand?
Where're you going?
What did you do that for?
It was either him or me.
What are you talking about?
That was your typewriter!
The son of a bitch was trying to kill me.
Who was? What are you talking about?
Will somebody please tell me
what he's talking about.
- Don't turn around.
- What?
Just stand there.
Stand there and count to 50. Understand?
- What?
- Do what I say.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,
11, 12, 13, 14, 15,16,17,18,19...
...20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25...
- Just keep counting.
26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31...
...32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39...
...40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48...
Now, listen very carefully.
My name is Fred.
Fred Sherman.
What's your name?
- Doris.
- Doris what?
Doris Waverly.
I'm sorry. I didn't hear that.
Let me ask you again.
What is your name?
- Doris...
- Yes?
Watch it.
Yes.
- Wilgus.
- Wilgus!
What a nice name. It's very real.
Yeah, it's that all right.
I work in a book store. I'm a clerk.
Actually, I'm in line
for the assistant managership.
- No kidding?
- I work nights and...
...I thought I'd spend my day
looking for an apartment.
- I don't live anyplace, either.
- Really? What do you do?
I'm a model and an actress.
I was formally a hooker.
Also, I was in two television commercials.
I thought you looked familiar.
I'm very pleased to actually meet you,
Miss Wilgus.
Very nice to meet you, Fred.
Actually...
...there was only one commercial.
You still love me?
Who knows, we might even find a place
with a television set.
- I never watch television.
- Really?
Yeah, it's too goddamn enervating.It's raining and I can't get a cab,
and I haven't any money anyway.
What the hell,
it's probably just some nice guy...
... who wants to help a girl out.
Just some rich, nice looking guy
who'll give me a lift home.
Yeah, that's all. Nope, that ain't all.
Sherman!
- Good evening, Mr. Rapzinski.
- What is it?
Is letter.
To come and throw in garbage.
Not throw on nice floor.
I, Rapzinski, say this.
Sorry to have taken you away
from your basement, Mr. Rapzinski.
I know how hard you work, keeping
the building on the House and Garden's...
...All-time Ten Best list.
- Sherman!
Yes, Mr. Rapzinski?
- Still making that noise.
- What noise is that?
Tic tac, tic tac."
That's the sound my typewriter makes
when I press
Филин и кошечка Филин и кошечка

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