are. Eat, darling.
Thanks.
- Good morning.
- How are you?
How's my son doing? Is he behaving?
You'd better be strict with him.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Commuter's pass.
I have my ticket.
Kindergarten No. 82
- Hello, Yelena Nikolayevna.
- Good morning. They're not eating.
- Good morning.
- Good morning!
May I have your attention, comrades,
forjust a minute!
Today, you're not going to eat
your breakfast here.
Instead we're going on a trip to Mars.
I appoint Igoryok commander.
- Igoryok, today you're a commander.
- Yes, sir!
Now take your cosmic spoons
and interplanetary forks,
and finish everything on your plates.
We won't be back on earth till lunch.
You're a genius!
- Yevgeny, can we see you for a minute?
- Sorry, I'm busy now.
But this man here insists.
Ah! I've caught you at last.
- To Docent!
- Yep.
It's something better
than picking pockets.
I'll get myself a car with a player,
fancy threads, and offto Yalta!
Get ready!
We'll nab all three!
- Well, what?
- Have you flogged the helmet?
- I just went fishing.
- Where? Why fishing?
Near the landing dock...
In an ice hole.
- Crosseyes, can you swim?
- Me? Swim?
Now, in winter?
Our deal didn't include swimming.
- They've got us staked out.
- What do you mean?
I feel it...
I got radar antennas.
Time for us to split up.
- Good afternoon!
- That's it. End ofthe line!
This is where we get off, boys!
Who's afraid ofthe big bad wolf,
big bad wolf, big bad wolf?
Where're you running, stupid wolf,
old wolf, big bad wolf?
Who's afraid ofthe big bad wolf,
big bad wolf, big bad wolf?
Where're you running, stupid wolf,
old wolf, big bad wolf?
Very good!
A big hand, comrades!
Now comes the cruel,
nasty wolf.
I'll huff and I'll puff,
and I'll blow your house down!
Grrr...
Well, that wasn't bad at all.
Thank you very much.
Only, you know, Igoryok,
you should be more scary.
I'll huff and I'll puff,
and I'll blow your house down!
Grrr...
Yevgeny Ivanovich, it's that man
again, the weird one.
Good afternoon, Comrade Troshkin.
Sit down.
- We've captured the thieves.
- Congratulations.
Too early to congratulate. The helmet
is missing. I've searched everywhere.
They won't tell
where it is.
But we have an idea...
- I was sent to speak to you.
- I'm listening.
- We propose to put a wig on you.
- Well...
Then we're going to tattoo you...
and throw you in prison.
What do you mean?
What for?
It's a great idea! Your own mother
won't tell which ofyou is which.
- I don't see what you mean.
- Oh, Lord above, bless me!
The trial has been held, two ofthem
got 4 years. It's nothing, a holiday.
The one who I took you for
was given eight years.
The other two are doing their time
in Central Asia.
- This one, near Moscow. Understand?
- No.
Oh, Lord above, bless me!
We'll put you in jail along with
the other two,
and they will take you
for this one.
That way you'll be able to learn from
them where the helmet is.
- Are you willing now?
- No.
- Why not?
- It's madness. What'll I say at home?
Just say you have to attend
a seminar for kindergarten teachers.
No, I can't do it.
I have my work, the children.
I must buy a Christmas tree.
And besides...
it isn't ethical.
Ethical, unethical!
We're the only ones who're being
so scrupulous: bail, rehabilitation.
We should do like the Turks did
in the olden times:
they put the thug
in a vat filled with shit,
and drove him through town.
Over him stood an executioner
with a saber in his hand,
and every five minutes he went
''swish'' with his saber over the vat!
Ifthe thief doesn't dive,
no more head.
So all day long
he dived in the shit!
That was in Turkey.
It's warm there.
- To run away?
- Crash out, split, fade.
Very good.
- To talk gibberish?
- Slip your trolley.
- What's good?
- Akey-okey.
- What's a barroom?
- A grog mill.
- An easy burglary?
- A hop stop.
- An untrustworthy man?
- A wrong guy.
Pillar ofthe