work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do?
I'm a waitress.
Ok, all right, well aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day, and you're just like,
'if I see one more cup of coffee'...
Yeah. Gotcha.
- I'm gonna go check up on your friend.
- Ok. That's fine.
So how did you know I was even here?
Your mom called me. So is this her?
No, this is a loaner.
I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself.
I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a
helper guy.
So, did you see who won the game?
Yeah, the Knicks by 10. They suck.
Yeah, they're not so bad.
Damnit, damnit, damnit.
This is all your fault.
This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know?
My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you.
The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok?
And you know what the funny thing is?
When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?
You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I?
There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.
This is so great.
You wanna explain that?
I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died,
and my stepfather went to jail,
so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one.
here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that
they're fighting over who gets to love it the most.
And it's not even born yet.
It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world.
I'm sorry, you were fighting.
Where are they?
- I'm sure they'll be here soon.
- Yeah, honey, they wouldn't miss this.
Relax. You're only at nine centimeters. And the baby's at zero station.
You are really frightening me.
Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart.
Uh, that's great. Anybody seen a nipple?
All right, ten centimeters, here we go.
- All right, honey, time to start pushing.
- But they're not here yet!
I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
Ok, got the vent open.
Hi, I'm Ben.
I'm hospital worker Ben.
It's Ben... to the rescue!
- Ben, you ready?
All right, gimme your foot. Ok, on three, Ben. One, two, three.
Ok, That's it, Ben.
What do you see?
Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait.
Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.
Phoebs, It's open! It's open!
Wait! You forgot your legs!
Push, push!
We're here!
Where have you been?
Long story, honey.
All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing .I need?
Excuse me, can I have this?
All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more.
So anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Good luck!
Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?
Out!
- All right, he's crowning. Here he comes.
- Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see.
Oh, a head.
Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?
Not.... helping!
You're doing great, you're doing fine.
- Hello!?
-Oh, sorry.
What do you see? What do you see?
We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got,
oh, look at the little fingers
and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right!
Ok, legs, knees, and feet.
Oh, oh. He's here.
He's a person.
- Oh, look at that!
- What does he look like?
Kinda like my uncle Ed, covered in Jell-o.
Really?
- You guys, he's beautiful!
- Oh, thanks, Pheebs!
No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
How 'bout Ben?
I like Ben.
Ben.      Ben.
- Ben's good.
How come you never mentioned Ben before?
We uh, we just cooked it up.
That's what we were off doing.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Can we come in?
I know, I