wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops.
Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky.
What'd you mean by that?
Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues.Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance.
Huh.
I mean hey!I just met you, I don't know you from Adam.
Only child, right?Parents divorced before you hit puberty.
Uhhuh, how did you know that?It's textbook.
Hey you guys.Hey, you all know my dad, right?Hey! Hey, Mr. Trib!
Hey, how long are you in the city?Just for a coupla days.I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.
Oh, this is my friend Roger.Hi.Hey, hey. Good to meet you, Roger.You too, sir.
What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)
Oh, 'scuse me.
So Ross, uh, how's the wife?(Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!
Gotta go.
I miss you too, I love you, but it's getting real late now
Hey Ma.
Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and Excuse me?
(To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?
Her name's Ronni.She's a pet mortician.
Sure.So how long you been (Goes back to chopping)
Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?
Since then?!
No, it's only been six years.I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. Joe. Y'ever been in love?
...I d'know.Then y'haven't.You're burning your tomatoes.
You're one to talk.
Joe, your dad's in love big time.And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.
Oh man.Please tell me one of 'em is Ma.
Of course, course one of 'em's Ma.What's the matter with you.
It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life.
He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool This blows!
I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents?(She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
What? (Looks up) What?
Did you not get a good enough look the other day?Alright, alright.
We're all adults here, there's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your peepee.
Y'know, I don't see that happening?
C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat.
Well I'm not showing you my 'tat.'
Hello?It's Phoebe.And Rog.
C'mon up.Oh, good. Rog is here.
What's the matter with Rog?Yeah.Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing I hate that guy.
What, so he was a little analytical.That's what he does, y'know?C'mon, he's not that bad.(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table.Ross is upset)Y'see, that's where you're wrong.
Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian?I dunno.
Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.
Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?
I don't know.Maybe maybe low self-esteem, maybe maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling, maybe you
Wait-wait, go back to that sibling thing.Well, I don't know.
I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.
That that's ridiculous!I don't feel guilty for her failures!
Oh! So you think I'm a failure!Isn't he good?
Nonono, thatthat's not what I was sayingY'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side.But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!
Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!
You're right!I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship.
Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
That's tough.Tough stuff. C'mon,