She's not a hippie.
She might as well be a hippie.
Thank you, Timmy boy.
Well, do you know
what just happened to her?
No, but I know she's
a skinny, fake, blonde bitch.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You were telling a story?
What about her?
Hey, Warren!
Is there anybody you could
vouch for to give me a ride home?
Fair lady, your chariot awaits.
You 've been eavesdropping?
There's eavesdropping
and "can't help but hear."
I think I belong
in the latter category.
So, uh, Icy Hot.
You 're offering me a ride home?
I'm offering you a lift if when
I'm ready to leave, you are, too.
And when are you
thinking about leaving?
Truthfully,
I'm not thinking about it.
But when I do,
you will be the first to know.
Will you be able
to, uh, drive later?
I know looks can be deceiving.
But I'm a teetotaler.
I've been drinking
club soda and lime all night,
and now I'm building up
to my big drink.
- Which is what?
- Virgin piсa colada.
Okay. Why would
someone who doesn't drink
spend hours at a bar drinking water?
You know, a bar offers
all kind of things other than alcohol.
Mmm. Really?
Like what?
Women.
Nacho grande platters.
The fellowship
of some fascinating individuals,
like Warren here.
Alcohol is just a lubricant
for all the individual
encounters that a barroom offers.
Ooh. Is that cowboy wisdom?
I'm not a cowboy, Pam.
I'm a stuntman.
But that's a very
easy mistake to make.
How do you know my name?
When you were talking with Warren...
couldn't help but overhear.
Fair enough.
So what's your name, Icy?
Stuntman Mike.
Stuntman Mike's your name?
Tsk. You ask anybody.
Hey, Warren.
Who is this guy?
Stuntman Mike.
And who the hell
is Stuntman Mike?
He's a stuntman.
Warren! Six shots of Wild Turkey!
# I' ve just got to know #
# Should I go leave #
# And find somebody else #
# You know I stood yesterday #
Yeah!
##
Yeah!
Let's do 'em!
Salud.
Down the snatch.
You know, Pam,
I think it's time for my big drink.
Well, Stuntman Mike,
since I have a tab here,
can I buy you that
virgin piсa colada?
Thank you, Pam.
That'd be lovely.
Warren!
A, uh, virgin piсa colada
for my stuntman friend
and I'll have another
Cadillac Cabo Wabo margarita.
Cabo Wabo, virgin.
##
# People. I' ve been misled #
# And I' ve been afraid #
# I' ve been hit in the head #
# And left for days #
# I' ve been abused #
# And I' ve been accused #
# I' ve been refused #
# A piece of bread... #
- Ah!
- Hey, if it ain't Lanna-Frank.
Mwah.
- Hey, baby.
- How are you?
- # In my life before #
- Hey, what's up?
Hey!
Hey, what's shakin', bacon?
Hey.
# Go wrong as I do today #
- # I want you to stop... #
- Well, let's scootch over, now.
It's about fucking time.
Well, beggars can't be choosers.
Take a picture.
It lasts longer.
What?
That table.
Seems to keep,
um, getting your attention.
Is that the girl
from the billboard outside?
Yep.
She sure is a striking-looking woman.
It's got gin, tequila, Jдger...
Look at that hair.
Lots of leave-in conditioner.
Is that jealousy I detect?
Hardly. But if you want
to get with, uh, Jungle Julia,
there's a real easy way to do that.
Really, what would that be?
Get famous. You won't have
to find her... she'll find you.
And you don't even want to know
what she did for that billboard.
Enjoy it, cocksucker.
You 've earned it.
What did she ever do to you?
We went to school together
from kindergarten through high school.
That's what she did to me.
She was her height right now at 12.
She was a monster.
Half the guys she still fucks
she used to terrorize in the fifth grade.
And she used to beat you up
and take your chocolate milk, huh?
That pituitary case?
Might have kicked my ass
a couple of times...
sorry, I'm built like a girl,
not a black man...
but I'd die before I ever gave
Julia Lucai my chocolate milk.
Hey!