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Детсадовский полицейский

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Yeah. Please hurry.
The key!
Give me the key!
Do you need a hand?
You okay?
I'm fine.
I'll be fine.
Class starts
at 9:00 in the morning.
I'll be fine.
You look much better already.
Oh. Kindergarten, 6-year-olds.
That's why I quit teaching,
you know.
I got so sick
of other people's kids.
I was afraid that
I'd never want to have any
of my own.
I have a son.
He's 13.
I remember
when he was 5.
He lives with his mother
and stepfather.
Aah!
What's the matter?
What...
is...
that?
Oh, excuse me.
I forgot to tell you.
This is my ferret.
He doesn't bite.
Don't worry.
Come on.
Come on out.
This is all I need...
an obstacle.
A goddamn obstacle.
He sends me an obstacle.
Here.
Oh, God.
Don't worry.
I'm going to make it.
I just need a minute.
I'll be ready
in just a minute.
I just got...
Oh, God.
How do I look?
Take off the gun.
That's a good idea.
The little bastards
are going to eat you alive.
Get some rest,
and don't worry.
I've been working undercover
for a long time.
They're 6-year-olds.
How much trouble
can they be?
On second thought...
take the gun.
Matthew...
I sent you to
the principal's office
because you punched Jenny.
I know. She poisoned
your hamsters.
She told me all about it...
and she's very sorry.
And I'm sorry that
I didn't believe you.
- But you shouldn't punch people.
- But she...
Mr. Kimble, Miss Schlowski
will see you now.
Let's go back to class.
Can I help you?
I'm John Kimble,
your new kindergarten teacher.
We were expecting
a Miss O'Hara.
There's been
a change of plan.
Four weeks into
the new semester...
my superintendent told me
I had to replace Mrs. Hagley...
a kindergarten teacher
of 25 years' experience...
with an undercover
police officer...
and he wouldn't even tell me why.
I don't suppose you
would do me the courtesy
of filling me in.
I can't do that.
Oh.
You can't do that.
I'm watching you.
All I have to do
is tell my parents
that you're
with the police...
and they'll yank their kids
out of this school so fast...
we'd have to close.
And don't you think I won't
if I feel my children
are in any danger.
They're not in danger.
I assume you have
some teaching experience.
They wouldn't have
sent me otherwise.
Just wait here a minute.
Everybody sit down
on the carpet!
Good morning, everyone.
Good morning, Miss Schlowski.
Your teacher, Mrs. Hagley
had to go on
an important trip.
Where'd she go?
That doesn't matter.
Did she die?
No, Lowell.
She went to see someone.
Did they die?
No, Lowell.
Everyone dies, you know.
I know, but not
for a long, long time.
Now, until Mrs. Hagley
comes back...
we have someone special to help.
This is Mr. Kimble...
your new kindergarten teacher.
Now, let's everybody say,
"Good morning, Mr. Kimble."
Good morning, Mr. Kimble.
Good morning.
They're all yours.
I'll be watching you.
Hi.
How are you?
I'm very happy to be here.
First I would like
to just get to know you.
Quiet.
I'm going to ask you
a bunch of questions.
I want to have them
answered immediately.
How many of you
were born in Astoria?
Raise your hands.
Let's see them.
Okay, hmm.
Now, anyone that was not
born in Astoria...
somewhere outside
like California...
raise your hands.
Yes.
I need to go
to the bathroom.
Okay. You can go.
Boys have a penis.
Girls have a vagina.
Thanks for the tip.
Yes?
I need to go
to the bathroom...
and I can't get
these things off.
I'll get someone
to help you.
I'll be right back, okay?
You've learned that
the "e" is often silent
when it immediately
follows another vowel.
Now write and say
these words...
Oh, um...
class, uh, Catherine...
can you take over
for me, please?
Thank you.
"E" is the fifth letter
of the alphabet.
Yes, can I help you?
I have a problem.
Mr. Kimble...
I need to go real bad.
First day?
Yes.
I'll take care of her.
Thank you.
You know, kindergarten
is like the ocean.
Don't turn your back on
Детсадовский полицейский Детсадовский полицейский

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