experience.
They wouldn't have
sent me otherwise.
Just wait here a minute.
Everybody sit down
on the carpet!
Good morning, everyone.
Good morning, Miss Schlowski.
Your teacher, Mrs. Hagley
had to go on
an important trip.
Where'd she go?
That doesn't matter.
Did she die?
No, Lowell.
She went to see someone.
Did they die?
No, Lowell.
Everyone dies, you know.
l know, but not
for a long, long time.
Now, until Mrs. Hagley
comes back...
we have someone special to help.
This is Mr. Kimble...
your new kindergarten teacher.
Now, let's everybody say,
''Good morning, Mr. Kimble.''
Good morning, Mr. Kimble.
Good morning.
They're all yours.
l'll be watching you.
Hi.
How are you?
l'm very happy to be here.
First l would like
to just get to know you.
Quiet.
l'm going to ask you
a bunch of questions.
l want to have them
answered immediately.
How many of you
were born in Astoria?
Raise your hands.
Let's see them.
Okay, hmm.
Now, anyone that was not
born in Astoria...
somewhere outside
like California...
raise your hands.
Yes.
l need to go
to the bathroom.
Okay. You can go.
Boys have a penis.
Girls have a vagina.
Thanks for the tip.
Yes?
l need to go
to the bathroom...
and l can't get
these things off.
l'll get someone
to help you.
l'll be right back, okay?
You've learned that
the ''e'' is often silent
when it immediately
follows another vowel.
Now write and say
these words--
Oh, um...
class, uh, Catherine...
can you take over
for me, please?
Thank you.
''E'' is the fifth letter
of the alphabet.
Yes, can l help you?
l have a problem.
Mr. Kimble...
l need to go real bad.
First day?
Yes.
l'll take care of her.
Thank you.
You know, kindergarten
is like the ocean.
Don't turn your back on it.
They're okay.
Don't worry.
Everything is under control.
No.
Monsters.
What are you doing with this?
Aren't you going
to break it up?
No. Two more days of this...
and he'll quit.
Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up.
No.
Don't start this.
Aah!
Attention!
This is your new class mascot.
What happened to your dog?
This is not a dog.
This is a ferret.
What's a ferret?
That's a ferret.
Oh!
lf he bites you,
you get rabies and die.
No. That's not true.
He never bites.
Can l pet him?
Sure, but one at a time, okay?
Good. Okay, next one.
Come on.
Yes.
Good.
Yeah.
Good. Now we're having fun.
What's that
supposed to mean?
Mrs. Hagley
is a lot better than you.
ls she?
ls she really?
My mom's a teacher
in this school...
and she's a lot better
than you, too.
Great.
On Monday nights,
my mom tutors
and Mrs. Quinn
takes care of me.
She's better than you, too.
Great.
And Frankie,
my swimming teacher...
and Gus, my T-ball coach,
are better than you, too.
l really appreciate
your honesty.
You happen to know someone
that's not better than me?
l don't know
that many people.
John?
Are you there?
How did it go?
Go away.
lt went that well, huh?
You take over tomorrow.
And blow our cover?
Can't do it.
They're horrible.
Tell me about it.
He's gay.
What kind of a man
teaches kindergarten?
He's obviously gay.
A male kindergarten teacher
isn't what l'm used to.
Samantha calls him
''The giant.''
There he is.
Where, honey?
Holy cow, is that
your new teacher?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
What are you doing?
- l'm not wearing makeup.
- None of us are.
You're married.
You're allowed to look like slobs.
Be good. l'll be back
to pick you up.
Good morning,
Mr. Kimble.
Good morning.
l told you he was big.
Play with the kids, honey.
Hi. l'm Jillian,
Sylvester's mom.
Do you have a minute?
l'd like to speak with you.
Sure.
Please.
Thank you.
A male kindergarten teacher.
That's unusual.
You're not from
around here, are you?
No. l'm not.
Neither am l.
Huh.
Anyway...
um...
l have a small problem.
Yes?
You see, Sylvester's father
doesn't live with us anymore...
and l've just been
worried about Sylvester.
He's been