To the target!
Towards the evening the dialog
had lost its "constructiveness".
Kazakov just couldn't get to the
sermon on peasant's labor.
Everyone was too drunk.
Some even couldn't stay upright.
It was decided to continue
in the morning.
Orderly!
Where are the gooks?
Doing morning exercises, sir!
What?
Lieutenant colonel Ozhogin
was seriously worried.
Potato harvest was
obviously under threat.
Get out!
Sorry, I can't leave my post.
What the fuck did you say
yesterday? Fucking llama!
You were told to call them
to the hoe!
Yes, I told them the hoe
is the lowest form of weapon.
And all military knowledge
begins with it.
Lost your eyes, major?
The Germans, sir colonel!
Pilgrims!
The Germans learned about
Kazakov from an article...
...published by maharaja
in the West.
They tried to reach spiritual
enlightenment in Bavaria.
But failed miserably.
And after reading Kazakov's
theses rushed straight to our base.
Nicola Baba dedicated his second
sermon to physical education...
...and it's connection with
spiritual emancipation.
With the help of two heavy
weights and PFC Galagura.
Soldiers should strive
to obey regulations...
...which is not easy by any means.
When duck shooting,
I never even bring my wife along!
But you I will bring!
Just wait until roding.
Unbodied spirit!
Don't take it to your heart!
This is why you must
start with a hoe!
Even on the second day Kazakov
didn't come around...
...to the necessity of
agricultural labor either.
Everyone was too drunk,
pilgrims including.
Ozhogin felt it was time
for resolute actions...
...and came to the barracks
to call the Indians to the hoe!
Attention! About face!
"Bundes", you're such a prick!
Push-ups!
One, two...
Accurately!
Daddy is going home, to Delhi.
What's going on here?
We've already took
the first step of initiation.
Now we must help the newcomers.
Up!
Clean the toilets!
On the double!
What now?
The Germans again?
Worse!
The last group of pilgrims
came from Sweden...
...and was in many ways superior.
We were starting to like
the conference-thing!
Take cover!
The third day
gave everyone high spirits.
They swapped tales,
competed in various board games.
This day happiness smiled at me!
And I smiled back!
Our dog Trezor was also in luck.
Kazakov conducted a course
of right breathing.
What's constricting
soldier's breath?..
His uniform.
That's why regulations recommend...
...taking physical exercise
half-naked.
Take a breath!
Recall Article 1 1 of regulations...
While pilgrims
recalled different articles...
...it was discovered
the "fuel" had run out.
Pisa and another NCO
were sent to the shop.
Exhale!
Someone brought the music.
We danced with female pilgrims
to the Swedish folk tunes.
With jealousy and fighting,
as it should be!
Maharaja fought the redheaded
German for NCO Kornauchova.
But his loyal subjects
stood by their master!
Mahabharata slowly turned
into Kamasutra.
Collective farm
was totally forgotten.
Orderly!
Out!
The Bomb lost his innocence
not even leaving the barracks.
Some slept in the mess-room.
The whereabouts of ensign
Kornauchova were a total mystery.
I wasn't sleeping...
Under the blue-blue sky
there's a golden city...
With transparent gates...
...and a red star!
Our political officer settled upon
the roof - for better view.
Is this Sirius?
No.
This satellite aims our missiles
towards America!
O, Sergei!
You're such a romantic!
No one knows how Talalaev
had spent that night.
But he didn't turn off the lights
until sunrise.
On the fourth day
there was a storm.
In the morning our general
went to take a pee...
...and felt somewhat indisposed.
As general's health
is the property of the army...
...he took straight to the hospital.
His case was only one
of at least 40 that morning.
The mysterious Indian disease...
...didn't choose between
generals, sergeants or privates.
The general!
But when Tresor was