off the impossible.
How many times do I have to tell you
this? I don't know. How many times?
Do you know
what kind of a guy Hardy is?
Handsome, rich...
muscular, popular,
hot, happening...
and capable of reducing your head
to a crimson stain on the wall.
Hardy's a jerk.
He screws around on her, he treats her
like dirt, he has no respect for her.
And obviously she gets off on it.
You're losing it.
And when it's lost,
all you are is a loser.
You obviously don't know how I feel,
so why don't you just butt out of this.
I know how you feel.
Oh, you do? Really?
You've been in love before?
There's a lot of things
you don't know about me.
Really?
Who have you
ever been in love with?
Huh?
You want to abuse yourself,
be my guest.
Hey, Watts, nothing ventured,
nothing gained, right?
Keith, once a fool,
always a fool.
Right?
Are those boys' underpants?
Yeah. So?
So, I've just never seen a girl
wearing boys' underpants before.
You ever seen a girl
with a drumstick shoved up her nose?
- Oh, is that some kind of a threat?
- It's some kind of a warning.
I'm petrified.
Really.
Don't worry. Everything's gonna be fine.
I've done this before.
There's Amanda.
Hi.
- Hardy, I've had about enough of this.
- What? What?
If you were more of a person, you might
be enough for two girls, but you're not.
Yeah? Well, this jealousy crap
is really getting a bit tedious.
Yeah, well, you won't
have to deal with it anymore.
- What does that mean?
- Get out of my way.
No, no, not until
we straighten this out.
It's not gonna
work anymore, Hardy.
Yeah?
You walk out on me,
where you gonna go?
You got a minute?
- What do you want?
- Well...
I wanted to know if
maybe you wanted to go out...
with me.
But if it's too difficult a time,
then I understand.
So you're asking me out
on a date?
- Bye.
- Bye!
- So, what did he want?
- He asked me out.
- What did you say?
- I said yes.
She's just mad.
Why are you smiling?
I wasn't aware that I was smiling,
but if it bothers you I can stop.
It's just that you haven't smiled much
lately. I was curious about the change.
Well, I haven't had that much
to smile about, Clifford.
- You have a beautiful smile, young man.
- Thank you, Carol.
She's Mom. I'm Dad.
And you're nuts.
This is not true.
It can't be.
This has got to be the most
hilarious rumor ever floated.
- Right?
- What are you talking about?
Last night I hear everybody talking
about how Keith has asked this girl out.
- No way.
- Check it out.
This girl is popular,
she's beautiful...
and obviously in the middle
of some emotional shootout...
to consent to date
the human tater tot.
What did you do to her, Keith?
Threaten her life?
I just asked her out.
Well, her boyfriend's a man,
for Christ's sake.
Hey, hey, hey.
He's extensively easy on the eyes,
he's a total buck, and you're...
you're... Keith.
Is she nice?
Mother, the girl is sex.
For God's sake, I'm eating!
Glad you got time
to think about the girls.
Between the girls and your art kick,
you have no time for anything important.
You'll be dead and buried before you get
off your butt and apply to a college.
Ease up, Dad.
Any fool can get into a college.
Only a precious few
may say the same about Amanda Jones.
Am I wrong?
- Mom, what kind of milk is this?
- If you don't like milk, drink juice.
It's none of your business.
What, Keith?
What did you say?
That's what my girlfriend
would look like without skin.
And while we're on the topic of
the double-breasted party machine...
congratulations
on your latest coup, yeah.
You know about Amanda Jones?
How?
You think I live here?
I have a personal life too, man.
How did you swing that one?
I don't know, Duncan.
I asked her out, she said yes,
we're gonna...
Any time somebody from the outside lifts
a woman from a "gwat" like Jenns...
we can all find cause to rejoice.
- I'm proud of you.
- "Gwat"?
Punch her apron one time
for me, huh?