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Why aren't you laughing, Bitterman?
You haven't said anything, sir.
I see, fine, so you're waiting
till the last minute.
Hello. Hi. How rich are you?
I beg your pardon?
Isn't having money
the most fabulous thing ever?
Every day is like Christmas morning,
am I right?
I don't think of personal wealth
in those terms exactly.
Yeah, you're right, of course.
Yeah, it doesn't matter
whether you're rich or poor...
as long as you can buy anything
on the planet you ever wanted.
Am I right? Answer me!
I'm not quite sure.
Hey, those your initials?
I'll bet you had to try a thousand dealers...
before you found a car
with your initials on it.
This is probably nowhere near
the color you wanted, either.
Funereal black.
Hi, it's me again.
Did you miss me? I'll bet you did.
Please remove yourself from my car.
I wish I could, but I have to ride like this.
I'm over 17 feet tall.
This is funny stuff. Is there
someone else in there I could talk to?
You're Arthur, aren't you?
Stanford Bach's boy.
That's right.
The shame of the family,
the wastrel, the public drunk.
You say that as if it's a bad thing.
Your window's going up.
Something's gone wrong with it.
Goodness gracious me.
Here, hi.
Hello in there.
Hi, it's me.
You have to be the most annoying man
I have ever met.
Do I have to? Here, no.
No don't, you. It's all right.
I was just having some fun.
Fun is a luxury I don't have.
I work for a living, Bach.
The word is ''work.'' Look it up.
-And my sympathy to your father.
-Yeah, certainly.
My congratulations to your mother.
Home at last.
Hi. How are you? Nice to see you.
Merry Christmas, yes.
Good evening, Mr. Bach.
How are you, Philip? Lovely stuff.
Thank you.
Put it on his tab.
-Your regular, sir?
-Yes, I am, thank you for asking.
Very kind of you, very considerate of you.
Good evening, yes. Hi.
-Good evening, Mr. Bach.
-Andre, my man, put it there.
Your wife's been waiting for you, sir.
Yeah, I know, I'm late.
You'd better go on ahead
and remove all the knives from our table.
-I don't think that will be necessary, sir.
-I wouldn't be so sure.
Darling, I'm sorry I'm late.
It was Bitterman's fault.
He insisted we stop off
at this tawdry boutique and buy--
Prince Charming? Over here.
I think I have more chance
of being forgiven at this table.
Maybe not. Excuse me.
I'm sorry. Merry Christmas.
-Thank you, Andre.
-Thank you, Andre.
Would you like to have
an ambulance standing by?
Arthur, I said 7:00.
7:00! I'm sorry. I thought you said
have a few drinks...
hit a toy store,
and wander in whenever you feel like it.
You really think you're hysterical,
don't you?
Yeah, I do. It cuts down
on entertainment expenses.
-Kissy kissy.
-No.
All right. Why can't I stay mad at you?
I mean, you know something,
we'd have terrific fights.
You know something? I should have
married you for your money.
Yeah, I love myself
primarily for my money.
It's pathetic, really, but I do.
And I'm probably wasting my time.
I'm probably not even
mentioned in my will.
-How are you?
-I'm fine.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
Listen, I saw Dr. Holbrook today.
-It was today? I could have gone with you.
-No, honey, it didn't matter.
I mean, he just had the results
of the tests back.
-What did he say?
-He said, ''Have a seat.''
He said he was putting
new carpeting in his office.
And then what?
And he said I couldn't have children.
God, that sucks, Linda.
I mean, you would have made
a great mother.
Yeah, I know.
I've had so much practice with you.
At least we don't
have to have sex anymore.
Are you cute?
You want to dance?
As long as it's not too arousing.
-We'll be right back.
-Easy, Romeo.
Happy person, let's hang her on the tree.
A one, a two...
a gootchi, gootchi, goo.
A one, a two.
-Arthur.
-Linda, where have you gone?
Honey.
-How do you feel about adoption?
-Adoption?
Yeah, adoption.
Look, all you need are two mature people
who love each other very much.
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