consideration. Why can't I go to the theatre? I love you and there's nothing else that matters. Why aren't you looking at me? You know my feelings for you will never change. But l'm begging you not to go. And I beg you to give me one good reason why I should not. Alyosha! Why do you come so late? What a shame! Madame Kartasova had no right... - What did she do? - She insulted Madame Karenina. Go on, Maman is waiting. No one can ever see you anymore. Madame Karenina is creating a sensation. So much so they're forgetting Patti. - I asked you not to speak in this... - I only say what everyone's saying. l'm so glad you're going to meet her. Even though she's my sister, I can say outright that she's... a remarkable woman. You'II see for yourself. Her position in society is horrid! Her situation's hell. And there's no hope of its changing. - Why? - It's a long and boring story. First her husband, then she, refused the divorce. Now they live in the country. Another woman would have lost courage long ago, but she... You'II see how she's organized her life, how calm she is. She has a daughter. She must be quite busy with her. You think every woman is just another brood hen, don't you? If a woman is busy at all, it can only be with children. - Give us some work, sir. - No, I have nothing for you. - Where do you come from? - From far away. - Why did you come here? - In search of work. No, we don't have anything. Only enough for our own peasants. - Well, God bless you. - Goodbye, sir. Hard as their work is, they haven't enough of it. I admit there's much injustice in the world. Yes, it's true, I do feel it but... You won't give up what is yours to them. How can I do that? But you're convinced that it is unjust. I always feel the injustice of my being so much richer than them. But I have my responsibilities to the land, to my family, and to society as well. You see? And I think you must either admit that the existing order is just and defend your rights, or acknowledge that you're enjoying unjust privileges, and then take pleasure in them. I cannot enjoy them when I see how poor my people are, and know that it's unjust. Well, then, don't enjoy them. I feel l've long known and loved you because of your friendship with Stiva and because of your lovely wife. But if she can't forgive me my situation, I hope she would never be able to forgive me. To forgive, one must go through it... l'm not trying to prove something. I only want to live and not harm anyone... excepting me. I have a right to that, haven't I? Once a peasant told me: 'All people are different. One lives solely for his needs, another for the salvation of his soul. He remembers the Lord.' To live not for what attracts you, but for a God that no one can understand or define. Do you think l'm living? L'm not. Alexei can go wherever and whenever he likes. He has every right, I have none. A great many couples stay for years in the same old rut that is hated by both husband and wife simply because there's neither strife nor happiness between them. For me to be happy, I must have with me both my son and Alexei. I love both of them equally, and both more than myself. If I can't have them both, then nothing matters. Nothing matters. That's the eternal mistake of imagining happiness as a fulfilled desire. And what if all we have to look forward to is suffering, doubt and endless dissatisfaction with oneself? One cannot live then. One must eitherjustify his life to himself or... A number of times I have been close to suicide. I hid the rope, so I wouldn't hang myself. I was afraid of carrying a gun about lest I should shoot myself. I am saved from despair by love alone. Do I regret anything? No. If I had to live my life over, l'd do the same thing, because I love and l'm loved... No. To live... to live! You fell in love with that vile woman! She has ------------------------------ Читайте также: - текст Онг-Банк: Тайский Воин на английском - текст Назад в будущее 2 на английском - текст Антикиллер на английском - текст Тайна железной двери на английском - текст Клятва на английском |