bathroom. Did you have to go now ? Yes, or i would have done something To make the court hold me in contempt. Can we start now, honey ? Objection ! There can be no justice if i call you "your honor," But the prosecution calls you "honey." It doesn't matter. Perhaps a compromise -- We'll call you "your honey." Let me add, your dress is perfect -- Authoritative, yet feminine. It's ridiculous ! Let the record show that willie hates your dress. Willie gave me this dress. Bribing the judge, huh ? Willie, i guess you have an opening statement. That won't take long. Alf broke the window. Great speech, counselor. I'm a goner, ha ha. Alf, i presume you have an opening statement. A brief comment. Since the dawn of time, The innocent have been unjustly accused. Adam and eve were evicted from the garden of eden On a trumped-Up charge of eating an apple. But adam and eve were guilty. Says who ? Says god. Moving on -- We come to the case of cain versus abel ... Is this a trip through recorded history ? The importance of this case demands that ... Because, if so, We'll have to forget about lunch. To sum it up, alf didn't break the window. Let's eat. We'd better finish the trial, first. Willie, present your evidence. The case is simple. We have here a broken window, And a defendant with a long, long history Of reckless behavior. Starting with the day he crashed his spaceship into our garage. Name 12 more. To name 12 more -- He set a fire in the camper, Chopped up our christmas tree, Wrecked the toaster, ripped that painting, Dug up the back yard, stole a car, Buried my piano -- That hurt me the most -- He got me arrested, used our credit cards, Excessively and illegally, He short-Circuited the tv, Terrorized the cat, and He blew up the kitchen. It's not hard to imagine, that such a person Would, could, and did Kick a football through the ochmoneks' window. Brilliant ! Did i do all that ? I'm afraid so -- We went over the list last night. Where ? In bed. Objection ! I'm up all night with law books, While you're in bed with that ambulance chaser. You are out of order. I withdraw the slur on my profession. I'd like to ask the "defendant" A couple of questions -- My "client" has nothing to hide. As regards this broken window, Do you have an alibi ? No. By your own admission, you kicked that football into their back yard ? By my own admission, i never heard anything break. If a window breaks in the woods, And there's no one to hear it, Is it really broken ? If you were in the woods -- Yeah. Do you still claim that ella fitzgerald broke that window ? That's entirely possible. It's not possible. It is ! It's not possible, Because ella fitzgerald was out of town. I've checked that out. Do you know where beverly sills was ? I have no further questions. That's your whole case ? You're a disgrace to the legal profession. You don't know your habeas from your corpus. Don't drag this into the gutter. I call to the stand ... What's wrong ? You ruined my dramatic pause. I was about to name a surprise witness. Sorry. I call to the stand Lynn tanner. Me ? Surprise ! How long have you known the defendant ? I've known you ... I mean the defendant, About a year. Would you say the defendant has any saintly qualities ? Well, he resembles a saint bernard. [ Laughs ] Quiet, shyster ! Do you think that the defendant broke the window ? I guess not. Thanks, you're out of here. Next witness i'd like to call -- But let me check something first -- Brian, come here. Do you think i broke the window ? I don't know. Well, think about it. I call brian tanner to the stand. He gave him a bribe ! Think of it as an early birthday present. Thanks, alf. Are there any other witnesses ? Yes, your honor. I'd like to call myself ------------------------------ Читайте также: - текст Покровские ворота на английском - текст Служебный роман на английском - текст Семнадцать мгновений весны на английском - текст Идентификация на английском - текст Небо зовёт на английском |