with all the rights and privileges thereto. And may God have mercy on your soul. CHEERING - Hip, hip! - Hooray! - Hip, hip! - Hooray! - Hip, hip! - Hooray! - Congratulations, Mr Worf. - Thank you, sir. Extend the plank! EXCITED CHATTERING Lower the badge of office. He'll never make it. No one ever has. SHOUTING ENCOURAGEMENT CHEERING Yes! Yes, Worf! If I've learnt one thing over the years, it's never to underestimate a Klingon. Computer, remove the plank! Number One, that's "retract plank," not "remove plank." Of course, sir. Sorry! GROWLS Doctor, I must confess, I am uncertain as to why someone falling into water is amusing. It's all in good fun, Data. - Fun? - Fun. I do not understand. You've got to get into the spirit of things. Learn to be spontaneous. Live in the moment. - Do something unexpected. Get it? - Got it. SCREAMS Oh! Data. - That was... - ..not funny. All hands, make sail! RIKER: T'gansuls and courses! Stand by the braces! CAPTAIN: Will. BOATSWAIN'S PIPE BLOWING Just imagine what it was like... no engines, no computers, just the wind and the sea and the stars to guide you. Bad food, brutal discipline, no women. 'Bridge to Captain Picard.' Picard here. 'There's a personal message for you from Earth.' Put it through down here. The best thing about life at sea, Will, was that no one could reach you. This was freedom, Will. Computer, arch. Look alive there! Here. Take the wheel. Captain, are you all right? Yes. I'm fine. Excuse me. Computer, exit. Mr LaForge, set royals and stansuls. What's a stansul, sir? You see that last yardarm? Just above that... - 'Bridge to holodeck 3.' - Riker here. 'We're picking up a distress call from the Amargosa Observatory. 'They say they're under attack.' Red alert! Battle stations. Captain Picard to the bridge! It looks like we're too late. There are no other ships in the system. We're approaching Amargosa. It looks like the observatory took quite a beating. Survivors? DATA: Sensors show five life signs aboard the station. RIKER: The station's complement was 19. Stand down from red alert. Number One... Will you begin an investigation? I'll be in my ready room. Make it so. - I thought you... - Just do it! - Mr Worf! - Aye, sir. Mr Worf, you're with me. The blast patterns are consistent with the type-3 disruptor. Great. That narrows it down to Romulan, Breen and Klingon. STEAM HISSES WORF: Over here! It's all right. Do not struggle. It's OK. We're right here. I've got you. I'm Commander William Riker from the starship Enterprise. Soran... Dr Tolian Soran. Who attacked you, Doctor? I don't know. It all happened so fast. Commander! Better take a look at this. Romulans. Why did you push her in the water in the first place? I was attempting to get into the spirit of things. I thought it would be amusing. Spot. Is she still angry? I'd stay out of sickbay for a couple of days if I were you. You're not thinking about using it, are you? I have considered it for many months. In light of my recent episode with Dr Crusher, now may be the appropriate time. I thought you worried about overloading your neural net. That is true. However, I believe my growth as an artificial life form has reached an impasse. For 34 years, I have endeavoured to become more human... to grow beyond my original programming. Still, I am unable to grasp such a basic concept as humour. This emotion chip may be the only answer. Geordi... All right. At the first sign of trouble, I'm going to deactivate it. - Agreed? - Agreed. RIKER: We found two dead Romulans on the station. We're analysing their equipment to see which ship they came from. There's no indication of why they attacked the station. They tore the place apart. Accessed the central computer, turned the cargo bay inside out. Obviously, they were looking for something. This could signify a new
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