Bow.
That's the dude who took my money!
We have come to ask for
the sacred Crossed Dagger of Ajanti.
- For what reason?
- For the Golden Child.
- He does not need it.
- To save his life.
The child lives for our sakes,
not for his own.
I humbly beg you,
let us have the knife.
Let him ask it.
I-I-I... want the knife.
Let him ask again.
I want the knife.
Please.
Only a man whose heart is pure
can wield the knife.
If you're such a man,
you will have it.
"Only a man whose heart is pure
can wield the knife."
And only a man whose ass is narrow
can get down these steps.
And if mine is such an ass,
then I shall have it.
Oh, shit.
Beyond the door is a corridor.
At the other end
is the sacred Ajanti Dagger.
If you walk to the other end of
the corridor and retrieve it, it's yours.
- That sounds simple enough.
- Just one thing.
You must carry this glass of water
without spilling one drop.
Are you Monty Hall now?
You must be Carol Marrow.
"Don't spill any water."
This is crazy!
And keep your thought
as pure as the water.
- The water isn't pure.
- Neither are you!
I give you this advice. Stay on the path.
You've got it.
I'm so afraid of the dark, too.
You need to get somebody
to come and clean up down here!
This is a piece of cake.
This is a piece of cake, OK?
Come on, come on...
Hey, there's no floor.
There's no ground.
Wait a minute, I've got it.
There is a ground. You're making it
look like there's no ground,
to see if I would be scared
and run back.
There's a ground, Monty!
There's no ground here!
Oh, shit...
- Remember, stay on the path!
- I heard you the first time!
Let's just hope the path stays under me!
- But I was supposed to stay on the path!
- Yes.
But you must know
when to break the rules.
- How many have survived this test?
- None!
None?
None? I'm going to break your ass
when I get out of here.
What am I doing wrong?
I followed all your rules,
what am I doing wrong?
Keep your thoughts as pure
as the water and don't drop the water.
Don't drop the water.
Wait a minute, wait a minute...
The water...
The fire and the water...
OK.
To Monty!
A toast!
I've got the knife,
now turn on the goddamn light!
What is it, asswipe?
I want to ask your advice
about something.
I'll let that slide,
because it's your way.
Don't press your luck, though.
I know that you're
a very old and wise and...
..disgusting guy.
You'll wipe that on yourjacket, huh?
I was wondering what a man says
to a woman from your world,
when he wants her to understand that
he loves her and wants to marry her.
If you took the short path and reached
enlightenment before tomorrow,
who would want you for a husband?
- What's the short path?
- First of all, you must remain pure.
- What do you mean?
- You know what I mean.
Oh, you mean no...
- Is there a long way?
- It takes 10,000 lifetimes.
We don't have that much time.
No women, what else?
For you? You must trust someone
you have no reason to trust.
You must make a promise
to someone you have just met.
You must love someone
who loves you.
- How can I know when to do all that?
- That's for you to decide.
You must tell no one
that I have put you on the path.
Well, thanks for your help.
He thinks I helped him!
Get that booger off yourjacket before
it freezes and you scratch yourself.
Keep that $100. There's no telling what
might be on the bill when you return it!
Gompa? I have ruined myself
for the American.
- He's a fool.
- But he's brave.
- He's irresponsible.
- But he's generous.
He thinks of nothing
but protecting his own feelings.
But if you touch his heart,
there's nothing he wouldn't do for you.
He believes in nothing.
And still he does what is right.
He's a careless,
thoughtless, undisciplined fool.
Yes. I do like him very much.
It's very hard not to.
Those magnificent Americans.
So much power and so little
understanding of what to do with