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Does he?
- Sean thought him up.
- You see, sir,
we kinda have this monster club, okay?
And we draw those pictures
to put on our clubhouse walls.
Correction, Mr. Crenshaw.
You draw pictures during
Mrs. Carlson's science class
when you're supposed
to be paying attention.
Wait. l just want to say one thing.
l mean, Ms. Carlson's
a nice teacher and all,
but she's boring and
has an odd-shaped head.
That's why Sean and the guys
call her ''Meow Mix,''
'cause her head's shaped like a cat head.
But l don't, sir, 'cause-- how rude.
l hear you.
l was a kid once.
l thought monsters were cool.
And maybe, well-- well, gosh...
maybe l'm just a big kid,
because, Sean, Patrick...
l think science is cool.
l dig it, man.
Now, l'm sure both of you know
a great deal about monsters,
but that's not the issue here.
The issue is...science is real.
Monsters are not.
We don't know that, sir.
God, can you believe Mr. Metzger?
Tell me about it.
He touched me and patted
my shoulders and stuff.
The guy was fully homo-ing out.
l smell like the '40s.
l mean, when they send you to school,
why don't they tell you about the homos
and people with cat heads--
Sorry, Mrs. Carlson.
She's married, Sean.
Oh, my God!
Some guy kisses her at night?
l mean, a priest said,
''l now pronounce you man and wife,''
and it was okay with him?
Hey. Where's Fat Kid?
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
and welcome to our show.
Tonight's question:
What makes Fat Kid fat?
Fat Kid?
Get out of here, E.J.
- ''Get out of here, E.J.''
- Nope.
- Not a good answer.
- Doesn't make any sense.
Let's go to our man on the street.
Hi. l'm Derek, and l'm in the street
where Fat Kid is blocking traffic.
Fat Kid, can't you stop eating?
Look, l have a glandular problem, okay?
At least l don't have a...stupidity problem.
What'd you say, faggot?
What'd you say?
My name's Horace!
- Horace.
- Whore-ass.
l tore it.
l guess l must have a stupidity problem.
What'd you say, faggot?
What'd you say?
l said, ''You're an asshole.''
Hey, Rudy.
See you met my friend Horace.
You okay?
Rudy, l, uh--
You dropped your candy bar, E.J.
lt's his.
lt's your now.
- Rudy--
- Eat.
- Rudy, l'm not gonna--
- Eat up!
And we'll call it a day.
Look, Patrick, l told you before,
- Wolfman cannot drive a car.
- Yes, he can.
- No, he can't!
- Yes, he can.
All l'm saying is, Sean,
he could if he had to.
He could not.
You're being such a dork!
- l know you are, but what am l?
- A dork.
l know you are, but what am l?
Oh, great. A feeb.
A dork.
- l know you are, but what am l?
- A dork.
- l know you are, but what am l?
- lnfinity!
Look, Wolfman doesn't go to work.
He's not, like, a guy.
What are you talkin' about?
He walks around.
He wears pants.
He had to wear pants 'cause those movies
were made in the '40s.
He had to wear 'em
so you wouldn't see his...
wolf dork.
Wolf dork?
You guys!
l saw him.
He was watching us.
Scary German Guy.
Sean, he give me the creeps.
Oh, he's just a dude on welfare.
Maybe he's a German spy.
Oh, good one.
We're not at war with Germany anymore.
We're at war with Vietnam.
- What?
- lt's in Rambo.
- You guys missed it!
- Fat Kid!
Rudy saved my life!
Do you think we could talk him
into joining the Monster Club?
Can we?
- Huddle.
- Huddle.
Sean, he's in junior high.
l hear he killed his dad.
Get out of here, Phoebe the Feeb!
Okay, you guys.
We should let him in on one condition.
Monster test.
You guys!
l saw Scary--
l saw him!
l saw Scary German Guy!
He was watching!
l'm depressed.
- What for?
- What do you mean, what for?
l'm flyin' a World War ll bomber
with wooden crates in it
and dead bodies.
l should have a party?
Do they complain?
Do they get airsick?
Do they ask for more
of the little almond things?
You're right.
This is a great job.
l'm really happy.
l thought they were dead.
They are.
l'm goin' to, uh...

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