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...are involved
in a major criminal conspiracy.
- Oh, you do?
- Yes, we do.
And I suppose
that you can prove that?
No, not yet, but we're working on it.
Well, work on it
someplace else, Dooley.
My father is a good man.
Now, you both get out of my house.
Come on, Frank.
Maggie, we're not implying that your
father did anything wrong, okay?
You know, you're a very nice man,
Norman, and I like you a lot.
But you let your partner
talk you into something...
...that doesn't make
a whole lot of sense.
I would expect it from him,
but certainly not from you.
And I'm very disappointed
in you, Norman.
Now, please leave.
I'm sorry.
I was a good cop,
and I'm right about this.
Get out.
Get out.
- You were great.
- All right.
Fun, fun, fun.
So Frank tells me you're an attorney.
And what line of work
would you be in?
I'm a technician in a tanning salon.
It's kind of boring.
- But I get all the free rays I want.
- Wonderful.
See, no tan line.
I don't see one, no.
You got a tan line?
- No tan line here.
- No tan line.
Are these girls wonderful or what?
Oh, wonderful.
Oh, what's with Mr. Gloomy Gus?
I just think you were
a little hard on Maggie.
I mean, I like her. You know,
my partner, Mr. Silver Tongue...
...tells her her father's
a crook to her face.
Wonderful bedside manner.
Should've been a doctor.
Why'd you do it, Frank?
Because he is a crook.
I chase crooks for a living.
That's what I do. I'm a cop.
I used to be a cop.
And you were a terrific cop, Frank.
The best.
- Thanks, Vicki.
- Yeah.
Can you get Peepee
to get a pitcher?
That'd be Pepe, and I sure can.
- Ned.
- What?
Look who-- Come here.
Look who's here.
Hey, Frank, what's happening?
- Frank, how you doing?
- Word's on the street you got a job.
- Yeah.
- Guard Dog Security?
Well, hello there.
Hey, why don't you dance
with some real cops.
These rent-a-cops are such a drag.
Why don't we take these two
lovely ladies out for the evening.
- Right.
- Roller-skating?
No, I got a much better
idea than that.
These guys will take care
of the bill here.
I have a very serious question to
ask you. Are you enjoying yourself?
- Well, do you wanna know the truth?
- No, I don't wanna know the truth.
Then I'm having a wonderful time,
thank you.
I'm having a wonderful time too.
But we could have a better time
if we go upstairs and have a drink.
- No.
- No?
- Sorry. No, I'm working.
- What? Yeah?
You're working.
You're working for me.
No, no, I'm working for my father.
You're working for your father?
Like I said, you're working for me.
Who do you think owns Guard Dog?
Excuse me, I do have work to do.
- Good evening, gentlemen.
- Hey.
Frank, what are you guys
doing here?
We're working undercover.
Special assignment,
Operation Scumbag.
It's classified. Very hush-hush.
- Even O'Connell doesn't know.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
- I don't see your name on the list here.
Well, why would you?
Do you think we'd go under
our real names?
Well, what names are you under?
Oh, let me see the list.
Here we are here.
Pincus and McCarthy.
Pincus and McCarthy.
Right, Mr. Pincus.
- McCarthy.
- I'm Pincus.
Get it together, Kokolovitch.
You wanna open the doors, please?
I'd love to chat all evening with you.
- Right.
- Have fun.
I like your stole.
These suits look ridiculous. We're
gonna stand out like sore thumbs.
What do you expect on short notice?
I got us a deal.
Yeah, what,
the Mexican-wedding rate?
I think you guys both look hunky.
Oh, thank you.
I don't see O'Connell. Keep your
eyes open for Lazarus and Klepper.
All right. Hey.
- What are you doing?
- What's the matter?
We look like a dance team.
Well, what do you want me to do?
You're a lawyer, aren't you?
- Let's mingle.
- Okay.
- Champagne, please.
- Yes, sir.
- Right away.
- I just love champagne.
Good evening.
- It's a wonderful affair, isn't it?
- Yes, it

- !

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