form.
Do you have a pen?
As you can see,
it's really quite simple.
Just remember,
when you pull the trigger...
...the bullets come out
going very, very fast.
So make sure to keep the weapon
pointed away from you.
Now, that's about it.
You are now armed guards.
God help us all.
So return to your positions...
...and load your guns, but do not...
...I repeat, do not commence firing...
...until I have left the target area.
Thank you.
You won't lie to me no more.
Take that, you scumbag.
Nice shooting, soldier.
I can't tell you
how much I hate this.
What's your problem?
What's my problem?
This is a dangerous weapon here.
It can hurt somebody.
I can't shoot it.
I-- I don't have it in me.
See that turd in the red plaid shirt
who's gonna blow your head off?
Watch.
Do you wanna be partners?
Raise your right hand,
repeat after me.
- I...
- I...
- ...state your name...
- ...state your name...
...do solemnly swear
to uphold the laws...
...of the state of California...
...and government
of the United States...
...in the exercise of my duties
as a special officer...
- -in the exercise of my duties
as a special officer...
...under the provisions
of the Private Guard Act...
- -safety and security of the persons
or property placed in my charge.
-placed in my charge.
Okay, that's it.
Here are your diplomas.
Fill them out
if your name's not on it.
You're now fully licensed
security guards. Congratulations.
Report to Sergeant Cavanaugh
for your assignments.
- That's it?
- Yeah.
Class of Thursday, 3:30 p.m.
Congratulations.
- Kane.
- Yes, right here.
Carlex Pharmaceuticals.
Night shift, starting tomorrow.
That's it? Just like that, huh?
Mr. Kane, there are only two things
that you have to remember:
Never fall asleep
where anyone can see you...
...and make sure your name
is very clearly marked on your lunch.
- Well, I can handle that.
- I'm gonna put you with Dooley here.
- Hey, Dooley?
- Yeah?
- You're working with Kane.
- Oh, good.
- I'll keep an eye on him for you.
- No.
I was hoping that he could
keep an eye on you.
Kokolovitch.
She likes me. Can you drive?
- Yeah.
- Pick me up tomorrow.
Hardtronics.
Make a left.
Guards Norman Kane
and Frank Dooley reporting--
I love to watch a professional
at work, don't you?
I think this job's gonna be
really good, Frank.
- It's just what I need right now.
- Wanna slow down?
What? Trying to suck up
first day on the job?
- No, it's just--
- In such a big hurry to do nothing?
- Look at those monsters.
- Jimmy, get the dog off my head!
I can't!
Get in there!
You wanna pet them?
Come on, we'll go pet them.
Norman Kane, Frank Dooley,
night shift.
Here are your building layouts...
...and your time clock locations.
Take lunch at 11:30.
And stay out the annex.
Pay attention, fat boy.
It's canine control. You got it?
Yeah, I-- I think so.
Don't be a smart-ass, Dooley.
Now go and relieve the day shift.
Yes, sir.
Yeah, come on,
let's go be security guards.
What did you call him?
A muscle-bound jerk?
- What?
- He's not.
He's a nitwit,
but he's no muscle-bound jerk.
Enough.
Maybe he thought I was crazy
to keep trying.
in your judgment, was your ship
on the verge of foundering...
...when the executive officer
assumed command?
- Dooley.
- Yeah?
I told y'all to take lunch at 11:30.
- So?
- So? It's 11:45.
It's against the rules to be in a
working area during breaks or meals.
Hey, man, read my lips.
Report to the cafeteria.
Can I just catch the end
of this movie?
Now!
Oh, what a bullshit rule.
Come on,
let's go grab some lunch.
I left my lunch in the car.
Meet you in the caf, all right?
- Right.
- Save me a seat.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, how about a lift?
Hey, you jerk.
Hi, fellas. How's it going?
Ski masks? Guys, I got news for you.
It's not that cold tonight.
Don't you have someplace
you're supposed to be?
No, not right now.
I'm on lunch break. Half an hour.
Saw you guys