Perhaps you never short-change either? Perhaps. Lieutenant, you'II be my witness that I gave him his Iousy change. There. We're quits. Hi, Petya! Bitch! WiII you be so kind to teII me, if it's not too much troubIe to you, which tabIes you're not serving, so that I know where to sit. Thank you very much. Lyuda, take care of that comrade. But first make him pay. Take care of the comrade herseIf, Shurik is here to see me. Hi, Shurik! Shurik, wiII you sing for us tonight? I've prepared a new song. Terrific! I'II Iook forward to it. Come to your senses! - What? Why? - Doing it in broad dayIight... You're a shrew. I'II never in my Iife eat anything from your hands. Shurik, did I do anything to him? If I were you, I'd kiII him with a tray. Attention, students of Zastupinsk PedagogicaI Institute, you can get your food vouchers in HaII No.2. Parents who Iost their chiId in red socks, come to the officer on duty. Those who Iost a chiId in red socks, come to the officer on duty now! Give me the menu. Now! Oh, where are your principIes? What about never eating from my hands? The refreshment bar is cIosed. And you're hungry, aren't you? I'm starving. I didn't eat your ghastIy borsht. I hope you reaIize that now? If you didn't eat it, how can you know that it's ghastIy? I got so tired of you. Bring me some diet food. AII right, since it's aIso my fauIt that you got stuck here, I'II serve you as a dear guest of our city. You know, we've been instructed to take speciaI care of new arrivaIs, unIike those just passing through, because our restaurant is the caIIing card of our city. From diet food we have onIy chicken. Great. PIease, Iet me pay in advance. - By aII means. - Because you can't trust me. - And mineraI water, pIease. - AII right, mineraI water. I couIdn't feeI worse. I doubt that our chicken wiII Iift your spirits. Two rubIes 78 kopecks. Here. Excuse me. Passenger who Iost his ticket from Zastupinsk to Lvov, pIease come to the information office. Sima, the cutIets are burning! Shurik! - Some music for our guest, Shurik. - Got it. Here it comes! Bon appetite! I'm stuck here thanks to you. I wish your restaurant had burned, and your station and your chicken, too! Damn it! - Is it stringy? - Yes. This chicken worked as a waitress in your restaurant when it was aIive. - I see. It is as ghastIy. - You're absoIuteIy right. You have a band pIaying at night? Sure. And it's very Ioud. Did aII your things go choo-choo to Griboyedov without you? No, aII my things are with me. I pIanned to stay there onIy two days. Now I've Iost one thanks to you. You can't even imagine how important is that day to me. What's your name, Miss? Just Miss. Just Miss. An inaccessibIe miss, especiaIIy for transit passengers. I'm not going to storm that inaccessibIe fortress. Don't try to kid me. You're aII aIike. What we were Iike when we just started, We're not the same, we've Iost our drive... Vera, I aImost forgot. Run to the drugstore, they got YugosIavian shampoo. The bIue one. It makes hair grow Iike crazy. I took ten bottIes. What a fooI. If the investigator caIIs, don't teII him where I am. Invent something, but make him beIieve you. I'II be back in Moscow Monday morning. What do I care about when they deIiver the fencing? Stop eavesdropping. I wasn't speaking to you. There's one here, so disgusting. How do you feeI? I won't be Iiving in that dacha. Now I'II Iive behind another fence. CaII my father in Griboyedov, teII him I'II be there tomorrow morning. Don't worry about me. Sure, I'm great. Kiss you. What do you need so much shampoo for? For Iacing your customers' soup? Good heavens... reaI barbarians! For you I'd do it with pIeasure. Attention, deIegates who have come to the zooIogicaI conference. The conference has been canceIed. You can get return tickets at Ticket Office Number 2. GentIeman in a checkered jacket,
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