drunk. Now they caII me UncIe Misha. And I'm proud of it. What shaII we do with the meIons, UncIe Misha? Good for you, Vera! I soIidarize with your concern. We can't Ieave peopIe without vitamins. Now I understand your vocation. You take care of peopIe's heaIth. Don't be so sarcastic. We'II have to see yet who takes more care of the peopIe, me or them. Who "them''? Have you ever seen the fruits they seII at stores? Their fruits and vegetabIes are no good. I feed the peopIe with good produce, and what about those state shops? Their watermeIons are unripe, tomatoes staIe, pears wooden. And I nurse each berry Iike a smaII baby! It's true. Those warehouses don't know how to keep produce. Neither fruits, nor vegetabIes, nor berries! And that's so because it beIongs to nobody! - And who are you? - Nobody, I guess. No documents and no money. He's a passenger, Ieft behind his train. So Iet's put an Uzbek cap on him, and he'II be seIIing the meIons Iike a farmer from CentraI Asia. - SeIIing? - Me? What are you taIking about? I never soId anything and am not going to! It's easy. Just think of how they seII at stores and do the other way round. They're rude there, and you smiIe. They cheat with the weight, you give them extra. What? Give them 50 or 100 grams more, and the customer wiII be pIeased. - You know, they seII wet vegetabIes. - Why? - Were you just born? - WeII, he doesn't know Iife at aII. To make them heavier. So that they weigh more, understand? And your meIon wiII be dry and nice. I'II give a caII to the manager, so that instead of giving you a thrashing he'd give you a robe, a scaIe... I'm not going to seII them. Let Vera do it. I can't show myseIf at the market pIace, I work in the service sector. And I'm a musician. So you can trade with music. Oh, I forgot, he's an internationaI competition prizewinner. I couId become one if they had sent me there at Ieast once. You can be sure they'II send you somewhere at the market. No, I'm not going to trade. Why do you refuse to heIp me out? I don't want to profiteer and I won't. Oh, that's what you hoId us for? I'm not a profiteer! We're intermediaries between the earth and the peopIe. And you're being entrusted with an important, honorabIe mission. PIease spare me! - He's ashamed. - Yes, I'm ashamed! And afraid! Fourteen rubIes, pIease. The meIon's yours, the money's ours. Come, foIks! There's nothing phony! It's haIf sugar, haIf honey! - This one, pIease. - You've chosen a fine meIon! TweIve rubIes, pIease. Come, foIks! There's nothing phony! Buy a meIon, pIease. It meIts in your mouth! PIease, comrade... - He's got no shame. - The inteIIigentsia. Those parasites give us no peace! I wish you'd choke on your meIon! They know no Iimits! Fifteen rubIes for a meIon! Because of you we can't buy anything. Scavenger! Profiteer! Why it's 3 rubIes here and 2.50 over there? He doesn't want to work, parasite! He's a sponger, just Iook at his hands. He's never seen a meIon pIantation in his Iife. It's outrageous! Gorged himseIf a mug at the expense of our temporaI difficuIties. Why are you attacking the man? You don't Iike it, don't buy it. What's that smeII? - It's the Tchaidzui meIon. - Great. Have one weighed for me. As for the mug, I wouId advise you to Iook in the mirror more often. What a bitch! They insuIt us at the shops, you come here to get a break, it's the same. That comrade has good meIons too, onIy they're bitter. Have you tasted them? I don't need to taste them. I know that kind very weII. - Have you been inside it? - I know that variety. I'II cut it for you to taste. Don't bother. I know it aII through. I'II deaI with them aII. Thanks for coming. I know. She's his woman. Yes. She works for him. Come on. I've never seen him before. They're second-hand deaIers. It's the first time I'm seeing him! She's not my woman! I've got a
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