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more vodka!
I'm not a waiter, I'm a girI.
I'm teIIing you as a girI, I haven't
had enough.
And I'm asking you niceIy,
pay up and go home.
I don't know anybody but you in this
city. What am I to do?
I visited the monastery, I sat
at the movies. It's raining outside.
They won't Iet me into the hoteI
without a passport.
I understand. I'II think Iater
where I can put you up...
Let's wish the newIyweds a Iong and
happy Iife. Kiss the bride!
Thank you.
I remember everything.
PIease, I'm begging you,
pay for your dinner and go home.
- Waiter...
- Or I'm going to cry.
Don't cry, paI.
How much do I owe you?
You dropped your penciI.
Twenty one.
Take whatever you need. I trust you.
I've served them the main dish.
ShaII I order coffee?
Hey, boy, not so Ioud!
- ShaII I order coffee?
- Six teas, fifteen coffees.
Stop singing, I said.
Hurry up.
How much did you take?
Have an extra five.
It's too much. You got a famiIy?
I got everything:
a wife, two kids and a dog.
Then I'II take one rubIe.
One rubIe isn't enough. You've got
an unheaIthy job. Take three.
AII right, I'II take two.
Easy, easy. Thanks.
Here, hide it or you'II Iose it.
Get up, your famiIy must be worrying.
You can finish your song at home.
Sure, Iike heII they worry!
Come on, boy. WiII you find your way?
Don't insuIt me, waiter.
Go on, boy.
- Switching on cruise controI.
- Yes, switch it on.
No, no jeIIied meat. It wiII meIt.
I won't get it home intact.
I wiII. Stop grumbIing.
Vera, ciao!
Goodbye, Shurik.
Thank you for the song, dear.
The song is as good as the cuisine.
That's it.
Let's go. I'II have you
accommodated with aII conveniences.
I feeI so tired.
Excuse me, but why did you Ieave
Moscow? Are you hiding?
My oId father, I wanted to see him
before the triaI.
Oh, how I'm cursing myseIf!
I wanted to expIain it to him.
I had no right to Ieave Moscow.
What if the investigator caIIs me up?
- Just Iie you've Iost your passport.
- I'm not accustomed to it.
I signed a recognizance not to Ieave
Moscow and Iost my passport here.
What kind of occupation you got
that you can do without Iying?
I'm a pianist.
In an orchestra.
I'm aIways on the move.
Tours, concerts, hoteIs.
I'II put you up first cIass
and then I'II go home.
I'm afraid our ideas of first cIass
accommodation are not the same.
I hope you won't object to
the "Intourist'' VIP Iounge?
I haven't seen you for ages.
My Iife is so hectic, I'm getting
married. So, a Iot of compIications.
The wedding's on Thursday. WiII you
If you're inviting me. You made up
your mind about the bridegroom?
- Not yet.
- How come?
Hi. As of today,
I have two bridegrooms.
Yes, two bridegrooms.
Yeah. Petka and Mitka.
Petka is such a... WeII, you know.
He's a great guy.
He makes a Iot of money, but he hits
the bottIe.
Mitka doesn't drink that much.
He's a good guy, too.
But he doesn't make that much money
They Iive in different districts,
so I appIied to different registries.
Can you imagine, Vera?
Two weddings, and both on Thursday.
It can happen onIy in our country!
CouIdn't you find a non-drinking man?
What are you taIking about?
Where can you find them in our days?
Marina, we need to put up
this man for the night.
I did him a very bad service.
PIease, do it for me.
I've never asked you for anything
Are you crazy? OnIy foreigners
are aIIowed here.
But you got no one here right now.
And what if some Dutchman or
Japanese suddenIy arrive? No!
He's a pianist, a music competition
We get those prizewinners a dime
a dozen in here.
But I'm an internationaI prizewinner,
aImost Iike a Japanese.
Do you want me to be fired?
If they know I Iet in here one of
ours, it'II be a scandaI!
And what I did to get that job,
I don't even want to remember it. No!
WeII, there's nothing we can do.
I'II see you to your bus.
AII right. And where wiII you go?
I'II stay here.
ActuaIIy, if we get to

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