- All right. So long, Tiger.
Later, Gideon.
This is just a rough cut, you know?
I don't have the titles in yet,
and the underscoring's not in.
It's not really finished.
I need more time.
Thankyou. Wonderful, wonderful.
Folks, what can I tellyou
aboutmynextguest?
This catallowedhimself
to be adored, butnotloved.
Andhis success in showbusiness
was matchedbyfailure
in his personal-relationship bag.
Now that's where he reallybombed.
And he came to believe that work,
show business, love, his whole life,
even himself, and all thatjazz, was bullshit.
He became numero uno game player,
to the point where he didn't know
where the games ended and reality began.
Like, to this cat, the only reality...
is death, man.
Ladies and gentlemen, let me lay
on you a so-so entertainer,
not much of a humanitarian,
and this cat was never nobody's friend.
In his final appearance on the great stage
of life - you can applaud ifyou wanna -
Mr Joe Gideon.
Two, three, four, five, six.
A one, a two, a three, four.
This must have cost a fortune!
At least I won't have to lie to ya any more.
Oh, yeah!
Ripped by thewildbunch22
Edited by RaymyOK, one more time. From the top.
Six beats, all right?
One, two, three, four. One, two...
To be on the wire is life.
The rest... is waiting.
- That's very theatrical, Joe.
- Yeah, I know.
- Did you make it up?
- I wish I had.
- Do you like it?
- Well, it's all right.
It's showtime, folks!
# They say the neon lights
are bright on Broadway
# They say there's always magic in the air
# But when you're walkin' down that street
# And you ain't had enough to eat
# The glitter rubs right off
and you're nowhere
# They say the women
treat you fine on Broadway
# But lookin'at them just gives me the blues
# Cos how you gonna make some time
# When all you got is one thin dime?
# And one thin dime
won't even shine your shoes
# They say that I won't
last too long on Broadway
# I'll catch a Greyhound bus for home,
they all say
# But they're dead wrong, I know they are
# Cos I can play this here guitar
# And I won't quit till I'm a star
# On Broadway
# They say that I won't last too long
on Broadway...
Bozo?
- Is that your real name?
- Yes, sir.
- You sure you don't wanna change that?
- Well, if you give me the job I'll change it.
# But they're dead wrong, I know they are
# Cos I can play this here guitar
# And I won't quit till I'm a star...
Victoria Porter.
Is this your, uh... your home phone?
#... till I'm a star
# On Broadway
# No, no, no, no, no...
- You were in The Wiz?
- Mr Gideon, I've never been in any show.
I had to put something on the card.
I really need ajob, so I lied.
It's all right, Rima. I lie all the time myself.
Oh, fuck him! He never picks me!
Honey, I did fuck him,
and he never picks me either!
- You were in Traffc Jam?
- Yes, sir.
- Who was the director of Traffc Jam?
- You were, Mr Gideon.
- Oh. How was I?
- Terrific.
- And who was the choreographer?
- You were, Mr Gideon.
- How was I?
- Fantastic.
That's how you get ajob.
God, I hope he doesn't pick her.
She's uglier than a witch's tit.
The expression is "colder than a witch's tit."
- You've never seen a woman's tit in your life.
- Shh. Be quiet, you two.
OK, thank you all very much.
It was a terrific audition. Just stay in line.
Now that's what I call a real drinker's nose.
And you should know, because
you're a real drinker, aren't you, Joe?
- Yeah.
- Also heavy into speed, aren't you?
- Yeah.
- Also sleep with a great many women.
- Real turnoff, huh?
- Just the opposite.
I'll make up my mind about the men later.
I know which girls I want.
Candy, Casey, Rima,
Jennifer and Victoria Porter.
- The one in the shocking-pink leotard?
- See if any are willing to be swing dancers.
- She's tone-deaf.
- With those legs, who cares?
Oh, Joey, I know you're in a hurry,
but I want to check your schedule.
- Same as always.
- Joey? Joey, can we talk a