thankyou. No, no...
You're wonderful, wonderful.
The wordsuperstaris greatly
overusedin this business.
Butformynextguest, the word
superstaris totally inadequate.
Wheneverl do a benefit-
andl've done 150, 60, 70, this year,
all for very worthy causes - I can always
count on this dude to be right there with me.
Ifeelhumbledin his presence.
From deep, deep in here, ladies
andgentlemen, letme lay on you...
- A great entertainer.
- a great entertainer,
- A great humanitarian.
- a greathumanitarian,
- And my dear friend for 25 years.
- andmy dearest, dearestfriendfor20 years.
- You missed by five years.
- Oh, boy, do I hate show business.
- Joey, you love show business.
- That's right, I love show business.
I'll go either way.
I got insight into you, Gideon.
You know what's underneath?
The dreadful fear that you're ordinary,
not special.
Right.
Oh, I think...
I think...
- I'm getting an erection.
- Oh, Mr Gideon, don't do that.
That sex thing, Jesus. Listen,
I wouldn't say you were a faggot,
but you do have a lot
offeminine characteristics, right?
Right.
You are foolishly and childishly
flirting with disaster.
Joey, you're really crazy!
What do you wanna do, kill yourself?
Dr Ballinger told me to get a little exercise.
Everything he does seems
to be a denial of his condition.
Dr Ballinger, every time I've seen him,
I get the impression that
he doesn't care whether he lives or dies.
Yes, I know. But I think he cares a lot.
OK, we'll limit his visitors
to no more than two.
Joe, I wish you couldhave been there.
9.30 this morning,
before a single review was out,
the line at Cinema One was around the
block. The people know. The people know.
This broke every first-day record.
It's a blockbuster. I mean a blockbuster.
And those guys in California...
You wouldn't believe the telephone calls.
"Congratulations", they say. "We're glad
you took your time. It was worth it."
They said "Every dollar that we put
in that film is up there on the screen."
I'm telling you, they're talking about
a $3.5 million advertising budget.
3.5 million dollars! I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Do you believe that? 3.5 million dollars. This
picture is gonna go right through the roof.
Right through... the roof.
Look at those reviews. See it?
We did it. Joe, we did it.
Where are the bad ones?
There are no bad ones.
Josh...
Well, there were a couple that
quibbled a little. I left them at the office.
Josh, I want you to do me a favour -
don't show them to me.
Never. How were the television reviews?
I think we got Leslie Perry.
At the screening, she told me she loved it.
Following Gideon's triumphant directorial
achievement with "50 Beautiful Girls, 50",
when he won everypossible award,
it wouldbe nice to report that
Mr Gideon's latest effort, "The Stand-up",
starring Davis Newman, was a betterfilm.
Oh, boy, here it comes.
Joey, turn it off, please.
..falls into his characteristic weakness
oftrying too hard to please, to entertain.
- Josh, no. I wanna hear it.
- The razzle-dazzle sometimes obliterates...
- What does she know?
- She never gives a good review.
That woman is totally unqualified
to criticise anything.
- She doesn't know a damn thing about film.
- Or anything.
She's not even reviewing a film.
She's telling you how clever she is.
..where the has-been comic,
playedimpeccablybyDavis Newman,
demonstrates his former
brilliance in a monologue
where clearly director Gideon
gave MrNewman free rein.
Rising above rather commonplace material,
the actor creates a classic comic...
I guarantee this picture
will do 30 million domestic, at least.
- One ofyou better get somebody.
- What?
I think I'm in trouble.
..chopping offthe ends ofscenes
before the drama is played out,
Ieft this reviewer with bewilderment
anda four-aspirin headache.
Using myfour-balloon rating system,
lgive "The Stand-up" halfa balloon.
- How are you feeling?
- The truth? I'm scared.
Roll 'em.