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relate to men, so they...
I think lesbian scenes are a big turn-off.
I shoulda cut it.
- What's goin' on here?
- Never mind. You'll find out.
- Couldn't I be doin' somethin'?
- Just turn off the lights when we tell you.
- Turn on the phonograph when we tell you.
- Yes, ma'am.
Oh, no, don't...
- Where'd you get those hats?
- Not tellin' ya.
That's for us to know and for you to find out.
- Oh, the lights, lights, lights.
- Joe, could you turn off the lights, please?
Now turn on those whachamacallit lights.
Yes, ma'am.
Crash!
Ladies and gentlemen, in honour
of El Stinko, El Blotto's screening
of Joe Gideon's new film, The Stand-up,
we are proud to present those two
dancing sensations Jagger and Gideon!
- Gideon and Jagger.
- Gideon and Jagger.
Give us our music, Joe.
In an under-rehearsed tribute.
- Sit down, Joe, sit down.
- Sit down, Daddy.
And... go!
- I'm nervous.
- I'm nervous too.
Let's go, let's go.
When trumpets... were mellow
And everyone only had one fellow
No need to remember when
Cos everything old is new again
I said everything old is new again
Dancin'at your... Long Island
jazz-age parties
Waiter, let me have some more Bacardis
Let's order now what they ordered then
Cos everything old is new again
- Get out your white suit, tap shoes and tails
- Scoop, scoop...
- Let's go backward when forward fails
- Strut.
Movie stars that you thought are long-dead
- Now are framed beside your bed
- Look familiar, Joe?
Don't throw the past away
You might need it some rainy day
Dreams can come true again
Cos everything old is new again
I said everything old is new again
Get out your white suit,
your tap shoes and tails
Let's go backward when forward fails
Leave Greta Garbo alone
- Go get him!
- Be a movie star on your own
And don't throw... don't throw the past away
Oh, we're all gonna need it some rainy day
Dreams can come true again
Well, everything old is new again
I said everything old is new again
- Pretty pictures.
- I might fall...
I might fall
- In love...
- Watch your feet.
In love
With...
You again!
- Can we do it again?
- I don't wanna.
It's showtime, folks.
And these two columns
revolve New York to LA.
And over here on the other side,
the same thing.
There's two staircases down here and
two more that come back into the orchestra.
Oh, yeah, and this centrepiece
moves out for the interior scenes,
and up there, that's Stan.
You'll get familiar with it when we start.
OK, now, all I wanna do now
is to read easily through the script,
and, frankly, I'm not too
familiar with it myself.
So if we go through it, then you'll give Paul
and me some rough idea of what we've got.
OK, no acting.
Everyone just take it easy. Easy.
All right, lights up.
Audrey, you have your first number,
and then you begin reading on page two.
You see, Sammy, in California,
everybody needs a car.
I got a friend who bought a Mercedes
just to get to the bathroom.
I guess only in America can a 24-year-old girl
like me own a house like this in Beverly Hills.
Thank you all very much.
You've done a wonderful job.
Take an hour and a half for lunch.
Don't forget to sign the Boston hotel list.
Excuse me.
There's no use to panic till
we find out what it really is.
Do stop that.
Dr Ballinger is looking at him now.
Ballinger is the best there is, Audrey.
- Dr Hyman, we just left him. He seemed fine.
- Just fine.
Well, he called. He said he had
chest pains, his left arm was numb...
I'm a little bewildered myself.
I checked him about a month ago.
All right, who's in charge of this all-important
show that Mr Gideon keeps talking about?
l guess I am.
Mr Gideon is having attacks of angina
that could lead to a massive coronary.
Oh,
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