at that employment office tomorrow.
- Good night, Dad.
- Good night.
- Good night, Mom.
- Good night.
And you were
worried about him.
I was so proud
of Michael that night.
Excuse me a second.
I think I see lunch.
- Do you need any help?
- No, I'm fine.
Maybe you could help me.
I haven't eaten in two days.
- Could you spare a little change?
- Sorry, no.
Oh, no wonder. Don't ever stand near
me when I'm begging.
Why?
A guy sees one bum,
he feels compassion.
He sees two, he figures
it's a social problem,
- let the government take care of it.
- Oh, sorry.
So go on. Michael was going to
the employment office.
Oh, yeah, I couldn't wait
to see what happened.
He's coming, Millie.
He's coming.
- Hi Dad. Hi Mom.
- Hi. Hey there.
How did it go today
at the employment agency?
It was fine. I'm in kind of
a hurry, though.
- I got a date.
- Wait a minute.
Did you hear that, Millie.
Michael has money for a date.
- Did you get a job?
- Mmm-hmm.
Oh God, that's wonderful.
You spend the money you earn,
'cause you deserve it.
What kind of job?
Well, it was kind
of an office...
That's past tense, "was."
You did get a job?
- Yeah.
- You showed up? You started to work?
Yeah, I started work,
and then I quit.
- You quit?
- Well, Dad, the boss was a real jerk.
Well, of course he was a jerk.
All bosses are jerks.
Hopefully, someday you'll become
a jerk. What did he do?
Well, he kept ordering me around.
Do this, do that.
It was demeaning.
It was insulting.
Oh, how long did you
suffer these demeaning insults?
I don't know.
20 minutes, half-hour.
But it's okay. I figured out another
way to make some money.
Another job?
No, I don't want to go
through that again.
I found this secondhand clothing store.
I took in a bunch of my clothes.
I got over $100.
Oh! No!
Hello.
Hey, Joey, how you doing?
Nah, I don't feel like
going to a movie tonight.
I'm just gonna stay
around the house.
I do love Woody Allen.
I just don't love
him tonight.
Okay,
I'll see you later.
You'd like to see that
movie, wouldn't you?
Yeah.
Movies cost money,
don't they?
Yeah.
You're all out
of money, aren't you?
Oh yeah.
I guess if you
want those things that you like,
you'll have to get a job
and earn some money, won't you?
There's gotta be
a better way.
No, Michael, no, there is
no better way, period.
That's the way
the world is.
The way the world has always been.
Man must work.
Can't be right, Dad.
The human race
has gotten along
for hundreds of thousands
of years without work.
If a guy needed food,
he went out and he hunted.
If he needed shelter,
okay, he built one.
That was it. The rest of his time,
he did what he felt like.
Chased girls or he drew pictures
of animals in caves.
He had no concept
of work.
Do you know that
even today in some African tribes,
and even in
the Eskimo language,
- no such word as work?
- What do you know from Eskimos?
Well, in college,
I took this course in anthropology.
- So?
- So you know how work got started?
One day this really big guy
went up to this little guy and said,
"Hey, buddy, I got
a proposition for ya.
From now on, you do all my hunting
for me. You do all my fishing for me.
You clean up my cave for me and you do
whatever else I tell you to do, okay?"
The little guy said,
"Well, gee, I don't know.
What do I get out
of it?"
And the big guy said,
"If you do all these things for me,
I won't bash your head
in with this rock."
And the little guy said,
"That sounds pretty good to me."
And boom, that's
how work got started.
And then one day,
the little guy's girlfriend went to him
and said, "Honey,
why are you doing all this stuff?"
He didn't want
to seem like a wimp.
So he said,
"Because it's good.
Work is a noble thing
for man to do."
And that's how
the work ethic got started.
Yes, work is a noble thing.
It is the most noble
thing in the world.
- Dad, that's your opinion.
- Who would