That's not the cuckoo singing
That's only my heart beating!
Efim, you've known me
thirty years.
Tell me, frankly.
Am I really that bad?
Be quiet.
You're amazingly talented.
There he is!
Arrest him!
I told you,
the case is closed.
What have you done, you jerk?
Framing Misha on a charge
of armed robbery!
What? Misha?
To clear you,
he signed a full confession.
Never sign!
Never sign anything!
You put him in jail, you rat!
-Chief!
-Not now, Garkusha. I'm closed.
Office hours are Monday,
9 to 11.
Shit!
Is it my fault,ls it my fault
Is it my fault that I love him?
Is it my fault that my voice shook
When I sang him this song?
Am I to blame
When I sang him this song?
Am I to blame?
Love Is to blame
If you want to apologize
Hold it!
Stop right there!
What have you been up to,
you lousy lush?
Give me a break.
Work me over later, okay?
Look at me.
-Let 's dance. Come on!
-Not now.
One dance, please!
Look, even Valia's dancing.
Aren't I woman enough for you?
Zoya, later!
Later we'll dance and sing
and play golden harps!
I'm the widow of
a living husband!
Have you seen
a skinny redhead anywhere?
Not my thing.
Did you try the tongue?
Isn't it fresh?
Some tongue?
Care to dance?
Go dance with the wolves
in Siberia!
Why the sudden preference
for Siberia?
Get lost, mugger!
-Let 's find some privacy.
-Privacy? Stop or I'll scream!
You're such a desirable woman!
A man could still fall
in love with you.
What did I do?
I kept my promise.
You became a top model,
like you wanted.
I bought you a flat,
we saw the world...
You always knew
I was married.
What did I do wrong?
Why did you leave?
Maybe I wanted to be loved.
Listen to me.
Listen carefully.
I've never said this to anyone.
I love you. You hear?
I love you.
In Thailand once, you told me
''I can't share you.''
Well I can't share you, either.
I'm not a cake.
You can't divide me into portions.
I meant it,
about getting a divorce.
You lied!
No! I even spoke
to my father-in-law!
He said,
''As a man, I sympathize.
Live discreetly, but forget about
remarrying or having other children.
All that we've amassed will go
to your son, my grandson...''
-I can't take this.
-''...and nobody else.''
-No.
-You don't know them.
They'd bury us in concrete.
-You, me and you-know-who.
-Shut up!
Calm down.
-Get lost!
-Come to Moscow.
Your flat is waiting,
new Italian furniture...
Touching your hand,
I got an electric shock.
-You're mine! Nobody else's!
-Drop dead!
What will you do
with that clown?
Shit!
How much do I owe you
for the earrings?
Forget it.
They're still in the family.
But who'll compensate me
for the mental distress?
Mental distress?
I'll compensate you.
-What are you doing?
-Compensating you.
Imagine the sun, the sand...
Stop it, mugger!
Hush!
First you rob me,
now you screw me?
You'll drop your charge?
I'll drop it!
-You'll drop it?
-I drop it! I drop it!
I drop it!
I drop it!
Care for a drink?
Good idea.
Now, how about a kiss?
Come over here.
I'm like a magnet, you know.
I attract things.
You do?
Yesterday, I came home
with a fork in my bra.
Coins and keys,
I've lost count.
I'm a walking hardware store.
-You want to go to Moscow?
-No, Paris.
Ladies choice!
Take your partners.
I know my power.
I have psychic gifts.
I give off boundless energy.
Would you like me to heal you?
-Of what?
-Your love.
One of my friends
had a backache.
His jacket had a metal zipper,
so he stuck to me like glue.
We dated for a whole week.
When they pulled us apart,
his backache came back.
His wife's so dumb,
she can't see it.
-I need a break.
-You don't believe me?
Come here, I'll show you.
You don't believe me?
Do you now?
Still don't?
I do, I do.
Limpdick!
Your wife's on the line.
I'm in a meeting.
Sure, I'll be home.
Soon, yes.
Switch it off.
Let 's run away!
Okay.