smoked tongue,
50 plates of cold cuts...
Me, I wanted meatballs!
What do I get? Beef Stroganoff
at 17 roubles a plate!
The money's not for me.
It 'll all be eaten tonight!
Digested, every last kopeck!
I have to buy a present!
You were young once too, Dad.
Your mother's savings account
is empty, cleaned out!
Mine has only 50 roubles left.
That 's how broke we are!
Leave me some for flowers,
at least.
Flowers? What flowers, son?
Don't make me laugh! Our guests
aren't cows to eat flowers!
Who pays the priest?
Who coughs up for the waiters?
Nobody helps for free anymore.
Those days are gone.
Where are you going?
To take a leak. Don't worry.
That 's still free!
Your dad collectivized your pay?
-He sure did.
-Chip in, guys!
Forget it...
The bride loves her groom,
but the wife loves money!
Thanks, guys.
-See you at 7 o'clock!
-We'll be there.
Garkusha!
Come here.
Did you get paid?
Shit, no. I got nothing,
Zoya grabbed it all. And you?
Same story.
Daddy swiped it.
Take this. Hide it,
or he'll grab it off me.
No problem.
Garkusha gets the picture.
Watch out! It 's for my bridal gift.
It 's sacred.
A wild beast would understand that.
You think I'm worse?
I remember that!
The school New Year's party.
She played Snow White.
I'll tell you about
Snow White!
At 17, she went to Moscow
to be a model.
-''Model'', spelt S-L-U-T.
-Hush, Daddy!
-Get off my back, Antonina.
-Taste this, Efim.
Try one.
I baked this myself.
-Why aren't you playing?
-Thank you.
Give us a march!
Leopardskin!
What next?
-Pass it through the window.
-Take care, son!
Your mother and I
never had a bed like that.
Buzz off, Grandpa,
or I'll go berserk!
Look out!
Don't tear the fabric!
It 's fragile!
Be careful! 3,000, it cost!
-How much?
-Grandpa, I'll strangle you!
Knock, Knock.
Can you call Garkusha?
-He's out.
-Where is he?
Some stupid prick or other...
gave him money. He won't be
home till he's drunk it all.
-How come?
-What do you think?
He was seen at the store, inviting
all the bums to drink with him!
-Maybe it 's his dough?
-His dough is here...
in my own private safe!
I confiscated every last kopeck.
His dough? No chance!
Bridegroom!
I've come to make the bed.
-Can't I stay?
-This is no job for a man. Go away.
-I just wanted...
-No! Go away.
-It 's a deal?
-No, it 's not enough.
Wait. Wait, damn it! You can
eat and drink all you like!
Go home on all fours,
if you want!
Dad?
What day of the week
did you and Ma get married?
Not now, son.
Give me a minute.
Where were we?
Whoever heard of a wedding
without music?
Efim, let 's leave.
-50 roubles.
-For that price...
get a radio!
Dance to the news!
-60. Shake!
-I'd rather go to town...
play accordion in the street.
I'd make 1,000, easy!
Quiet, Dad.
What 's your price?
-75.
-100!
-You're on!
-Deal? 100 for you, too!
I'll be your toastmaster
free of charge.
I taught you as a boy.
I remember the school New Year's
party, when you fainted...
when Tania chose you
as her prince.
He remembers!
He remembers!
Give him a million!
Shut up, Dad!
It 's my wedding, for God's sake!
Come back, son!
Here's your menu.
Son!
It 's your money!
You spend it!
-Misha.
-What?
-Buy Tania flowers.
-Forget it.
Go on.
Thanks, Valia.
-This is all I have.
-I can't.
I'd lose out.
Wait.
-Take this.
-What is it? I have a Rolex!
Sorry.
Bridegroom! Come here.
-Is your fiancйe pretty?
-Yes, very.
-Got a picture?
-Yes.
-Show me.
-Just a sec.
How much are those flowers?
Wait just a second, sweetheart.
That 's her.
Wow! Sweet babe!
Rafik, bro!
Look.
-Sophia Loren, right?
-Take these...
as Tewfik's gift of respect
for Russian babes.
Stop!
-Misha Krapivin?
-Yes.
-You're the fiancй?
-Is it a crime?
Keep your shirt on!
-I just want to congratulate you.
-Thanks.
-Congratulations.
-Thanks.
-Sorry, I'm a bit rushed.
-Off you go.
Stop. No entry.
-My fiancйe's up there.
-She doesn't