You know the laws of probability?
Sveta, give me a coin.
-What 's it for?
-Heads I marry Misha.
-Tails I go back to Moscow.
-She's out of her mind!
Okay, Misha?
Heads you marry me?
You'll ditch him again
when you're sober!
Agreed, Krapivin?
Where is it, can you see?
Get off me, stupid!
Let me see.
Heads!
So, Mikhail Krapivin,
will you marry me?
Yes.
''THE WEDDING''
Krotov!
I'm getting married!
Stop yelling.
Our wages have arrived.
Down tools, guys!
Our wages are here!
-How much are we getting?
-Ask my dick!
Listen, guys.
Don't forget! The Palace
of Culture, 7:00 sharp!
Don't worry, we'll be there.
Don't get drunk before!
Antonina, you've really
hit the jackpot.
A daughter-in-law from nowhere.
No family, no class...
-A chain-smoking hooker...
-Don't, Grandpa.
-It 's bad enough already.
-Your sins are being punished.
She's so busy! Can't even find time
to pay her respects to us!
''Sorry, Grandpa. I'm off to
Moscow to have my dress made.''
Our Misha's a goner.
She'll have him for breakfast!
-Your sins are too great.
-What sins?
I slaved all my life
down the coal mine!
What we ate wasn't Snickers!
-You had lost God.
-God doesn't exist!
You pray your brains out, for what?
Does God give you a man?
Not one! Not even a shrimp!
You'll die an old maid, angel.
The jellied beef will never set.
Poor little Misha! She's been around.
How will he cope with her?
Around? I'll say!
Give her an inch, she'll take a mile.
You've watched TV.
Ads, sex and smut.
Now it 's here, in real life.
She'll eat him, bones and all!
Hey, you Krapivins!
Shake a leg!
The wages are here!
Come and get them!
First course: smoked tongue
at 57 roubles a plate.
For how many? Say 100.
That makes... 5,700 roubles.
Tongue won't last ten seconds!
Give us herring salad.
Let 's stay Russian.
Herring salad?
For a wedding?
That 's no way to impress people!
You need delicacies!
Understand?
-I can't afford more than 30.
-50!
People will bring presents. 50!
Now, what 's the main course?
-Natasha? Main course?
-Beef Stroganoff.
-With buckwheat porridge.
-You said meatballs.
Meatballs?
You eat this garbage every day!
Stop stuffing your face!
You get a government pension.
A special one for Model Workers!
Like hell! I haven't seen
a kopeck for six months.
Don't worry.
Look at this.
I was saving it for myself.
You can have it cheap.
Take a sniff!
-Fresh as a daisy!
-You want to ruin me or what?
The money's come!
They're paying at the mine!
Keep the tongue!
Maybe I can afford it!
OUR HEROIC WORKERS
DICKHEAD
Get back! Get back!
-Hands off!
-Stand back! Don't push!
Go home! You embarrass me.
I'll get the money.
-No way! I'm getting it.
-You'll get something else!
Go on, hit me!
Have a little fun!
Here, in front of everyone!
Give us our wages!
There's enough for everyone!
Don't push!
Where you think you're going?
Wages come first, then pensions.
Don't push!
This is Krapivin,
our Model Worker.
He's a local hero.
Isn't your son marrying
Tania Simakova today?
He's the one!
A good, hard-working boy...
who's picked himself a peach!
Krapivin, invite the Chief here
to the wedding.
-He might accept.
-By all means.
We'd be honored.
-You'd be welcome!
-Get going.
-The world's gone crazy.
-Seen Misha anywhere?
-No.
-Don't you worry!
Coalface workers get paid first.
Your Misha's a lucky boy.
Seven months without pay
and the day he's married, bingo!
It arrives!
Right, Garkusha?
-He's a lucky boy, your son!
-Lucky fool, you mean.
You're mine, all mine!
It 's here, boys!
The dough is here!
Make way!
Go on! Run them over!
Get off!
Don't give Garkusha a rouble!
Cashier lady!
-Don't give my husband anything!
-Move your crazy ass!
-Hi, old-timer.
-Hi, boys.
Give me the money.
It 's not all here.
I'm waiting.
Give me all of it.
Every kopeck.
Leave me some for a present!
He wants to buy a present?
Terrific!
Here, read this.
100 portions of