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why are there
that many zombie movies anyway?
'Cause if is supposed to, like,
draw a parallel about leprosy,
my cousin had leprosy.
Is not funny, you know?
And, like, is it supposed to be
a metaphor for consumerism?
Because don't be so pleased
with your own, like,
self-referential cleverness, you know?
Like, some girls like to shop.
Not all girls, apparently.
Although I was surprised
you even called at all. You know?
Like, your depression thing,
I get it. I'm totally, totally worried.
But after a while is like,
- you're still bumming...
- CHET: You want a ride, girls?
...and I'm going through stuff, too.
You know? Like Mike deciding
he just wants to be friends.
CHET: Whas up? Look what we found.
JESSICA: Is hard, you know?
Like, and since when does
"just friends"...
BIKER 1: Whas up guys?
BIKER 2: Look what we found.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, where you going?
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Keep walking.
(GASPING)
This is dangerous.
- Dude, come on.
- CHET: Come here for a sec!
I think I know those guys.
CHET: We got beer! We got bikes!
Well, they seem great. Can we go?
I'm just gonna see something.
CHET: Hey, girlie!
All right, all right. We got a taker.
Turn around.
(GASPS)
(FRIENDS PLAYING)
BIKER 2: Shut up!
BIKER 3: You shut up!
I'm sorry, I thought you
were somebody else.
No, thas cool.
I'll be whoever you want me to be, honey.
So, what do you say?
You promised me, nothing reckless.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
You promised it would be
as if you never existed.
(CHET CLEARS THROAT)
- You lied.
- You say something, babe?
You know what? Never mind.
(ENGINE ROARING)
Stop! Stop, stop, stop!
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
Hey, what the hell's wrong with you?
Just curious.
- I thought that I saw something.
- You... Oh.
You're insane, actually. Or suicidal.
That homeboy coulve been a psycho.
I was about to end up in an FBI
interview room like some lame TV show.
God, that was such a rush.
Awesome.
So you're an adrenaline junkie now?
Thas cool. You can go bungee jumping.
You don't get on the back
of some random loser's motorcycle.
Crazy.
BELLA: Alice, I saw him.
Maybe I'm crazy now. I guess thas okay.
If a rush of danger
is what it takes to see him,
then thas what I'll find.
Bella!
Where the hell have you been, loca?
(BELLA LAUGHING)
(SIGHS) I brought you something.
- Okay.
- Is a little crazy.
Wow.
Scrap metal. You shouldn't have.
I saved it from the junkyard.
(BELLA CLEARS THROAT)
I think they'll probably cost more to fix
than they're worth,
but then I thought that
if I had a mechanic friend
- to help me out then...
- Ah!
- Me being the mechanic-type friend?
- Thas right.
- Since when are you into motorcycles?
- Since now.
I get it if you think that
this is really stupid and reckless.
Yeah, I mean,
is completely stupid and reckless.
When do we start?
Uh.
Now.
- Please?
- (CHUCKLES) All right.
Oh, hey, be careful. Those things
are actually really heavy, so...
Jake, you're, like, buff.
How did that happen?
You're, like, 16. I don't get it.
Mmm-hmm. Age is just a number, baby.
What are you, like, 40 now?
It feels like that sometimes.
(ROMANTIC SONG PLAYING ON STEREO)
(TURNS OFF STEREO)
That song's good. You don't like it?
I don't really like music
anymore, kind of.
Okay. No more music.
So I was thinking,
if we're gonna do this every day,
and hopefully we will,
we have to, like,
fit some homework in there somewhere.
I don't want Billy thinking that
I'm a bad influence on you.
You? Influence me? Please.
Are you... I'm older than you,
so that makes me the influencer
and you the influence.
(LAUGHS) No, no, no.
My size and knowledge base
actually makes me older than you
because of your general paleness
and lack of know-how.
I convinced you to build
two-wheeled death machines with me.
Don't you think that makes you
kind of young and naive?
Okay. So where do we stand?
- I'm 35. And you might be, like, 32.
- Come on.
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