himself,
and he doesn't have to worry
about getting lost.
He's really a Stepford bear.
He really knows his way around.
Walter?
You all right?
Yeah.
It's awfully late.
Everything go OK at the initiation?
It wasn't an initiation.
This is not a college fraternity.
They just showed me
around the place,
and they asked me if I wanted to join.
And I said, yes, I did.
Good.
Walter, I was worried.
I wake up,
it's the middle of the night.
You're sitting here alone, drinking.
Why are you sitting here?
Why didn't you come to bed?
I'm coming to bed.
Did anybody say something
to upset you?
I'm not upset.
There's nothing to be upset about.
- Everything's fine.
- It's not fine.
I was worried. Walter, I love you,
but you expect me to be a mind reader.
I love you.
I really love you.
Do you...? Do you know that?
I really do. And I know
I've screwed this whole thing up.
- You didn't wanna move here.
- Look...
- I know that, no.
- I'll get over it.
I've already gotten over it.
That's not what I'm talking about.
Do you understand that
I really love you?
Yeah. Yes.
Let's go to bed.
I feel like I'm getting old.
You're not getting old.
I feel like it.
Hi.
- Are you Joanna Eberhart?
- Yes.
The Joanna Eberhart?
Avid shutterbug, ex-Gothamite who
misses the noise of the naked city?
Yes.
Hey, boy, am I glad to see you.
Hi, I'm Bobby. Bobby Markowe.
That's upward mobility for Markowitz.
I'm also an ex-Gothamite, who's been
living here in Ajax country
for just over a month now,
and I'm going crazy.
You see, doctor, my problem is that,
given complete freedom of choice,
I don't wanna squeeze
the goddamn Charmin.
Anyway, I saw your name here.
- I hope you don't think...
- Oh, no.
Yeah, it was fantastic, fantastic.
Here you are. Wait a minute, I think
you got a headline. Wait a minute.
- No.
- You got a headline on this page.
Here she is.
"Eberhart moves to Stepford."
- I wish they'd use one of my...
- "Avid shutterbug."
I knew you were fantastic,
you are.
Have I seen any of your pictures
in magazines? I know I must have.
- I doubt it.
- Right? You're terrific.
I know you are. Eber... I don't know,
but I think I do know you.
- Anyway.
- No, but I'm glad to have a friend.
Me too. How do you do?
Listen, you wanna go
and have something to drink?
- Eat.
- Eat?
- Yeah.
- OK.
- I got all this junk here.
- Got any smokes?
I dropped my best camera on my foot.
Have you really got film
in those things?
Oh, yes.
I'm the very avid shutterbug.
Yeah, listen, I really...
To tell you the truth,
ordinarily, I don't pay
any attention to that newspaper,
- because it's full of it, you know.
- I know.
I saw your name,
and it stood out for some reason.
Whatever made you
choose Stepford?
- Oh, I didn't. Walter did.
- Oh, yeah, it figures.
Dave brought us here
because of land values.
He's best in bed
when the market's up.
I think I'll break into
Walter's Scotch.
Hey, hey, hey, you know something,
I'm gonna like you.
Yeah.
A messy kitchen. It's beautiful.
A home away from home.
Oh, my, of course,
it doesn't compare to mine.
You haven't got
any of those magnificent
peanut-butter handprints
all over your cabinets yet.
But then, you're new here,
and Stepford wasn't ruined in a day.
Hello, Hi-C.
Hey, you want a Ring Ding?
I smuggled it over the border.
- What year is it?
- '59, a collector's item.
- It'd be great with Scotch.
- Yeah.
Two things I always carry:
Tampax and Ring Dings.
And I don't even wanna
think what that means.
I'll tell you. Thanks.
I can't figure out this burg.
It's like maids have been
declared illegal,
and the housewife
with the neatest place
gets Robert Redford for Christmas.
And believe me,
if that's the prize, I'd enter,
but nobody will tell what
the contest rules are.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Not to mention that
creepy Men's Association.
- Yours too?
- Every night.
Dave wouldn't miss.
- What do you think they do