No.
I can't just call him up and say,
"Hi, I used to be Joanna Ingles.
"You deflowered me 12 years ago.
Would you check my water?"
Final gas-chromatograph readings
will be coming in in a minute or two.
- Thank you so much for this.
- Oh, don't be silly.
- Long time.
- Twelve years.
You married a dentist,
wasn't that it?
Lawyer.
You happy?
- Yes, very.
- Good, good.
- Are you married?
- Going on nine years.
And, yes, very.
Here's the report you ordered,
Mr Chandler.
Thank you, Elizabeth.
Well, I can say right off the bat that...
...you've got water in your water.
Now, what can I tell you girls?
I mean, I wouldn't want to drink
too much of it,
- but it's water.
- Can't you be more specific?
Yes, but in order to do that,
I'd specifically have to know
what it is I'm trying to find.
I mean, there's nothing here.
Look at that.
Well, can you go any further
in confirming my suspicions?
I'm sorry, about what?
The women in Stepford
love housework,
and I thought there might be
something in the water.
- Where did you find her?
- It's not funny.
No, it isn't.
All right. You're right.
Look, that was rude of me.
- Mrs...
- Markowe.
Markowe.
I can tell you categorically that there's
no such thing as a cleaner-compeller.
If there was, I would patent it myself,
make a million bucks,
win the Nobel Prize and retire.
I guess we're going.
I'll see you outside.
- I'm sorry. Tell her that.
- Yes.
Hey,
we blew it, didn't we?
I don't know, Raymond.
It's hard to be smart.
Yeah.
Bye-bye.
I don't care what anybody says.
I'm not going to end up like
one of those pan-scrubbers.
I'm getting the hell out of Stepford.
I'll ask Dave tonight,
and we'll move.
Hey, hey, hey, you too.
You can't break up a team like us.
We're the best thing to happen
since Laurel and Hardy.
Will you think about it?
"Zoom.
"Zoot suit.
"Zulu."
And that's that.
I'm finally finished.
When was that?
Walter, would you move?
No, no.
- What? What did I say?
- I meant move, leave Stepford.
We just got to Stepford.
Hey, are you that unhappy?
Is it everything you expected?
Well...
No. No, it's not, but...
...I just didn't want to be
the first one to admit it.
You know, I'm the one that wanted
to come here in the first place.
You think the men are dull.
Well, I think the women are too.
You're right. I agree with you.
That's why I want to move.
Yeah, but the area sure is nice,
though, you know.
It's perfect for the kids.
Maybe Norwood or Eastbridge.
OK, let's move.
You mean it?
That's all there is to it?
I just had to ask?
Shouldn't we fight or something?
Well, I don't want
to move tonight, Joanna.
What is it, June already? And I got
all this work piled up here. Jesus, I...
OK, I'll tell you what.
Why don't you look around,
and we'll figure on moving in August.
That way, the kids can get settled in
before school starts.
Hey, these papers are all
in sequence, you know.
I mean, you're crushing
Mr Ziegler's will.
I'll make you a beneficiary.
I guess Mr Ziegler
can wait a little while.
- You mean it? We can move?
- Yeah.
Oh, Walter.
Oh, Walter, you're really sweet.
Girls, I think after four houses,
I'm getting to know your taste.
This may be it.
He's an ITT VP transferred to
Panama, probably to start a revolution.
There will be at least eight lonely ladies
in Eastbridge Centre for a while.
I don't know how he got away
with it so close to home.
- Oh, my.
- I'll go in first. You stay here.
They gave me the key, but you
never know what you'll walk into.
Thanks. Oh, Mrs Kirgassa,
I love you.
Oh, she's fat and lovely.
She's got a big mouth, and I love her.
What a treat. When I told Dave
we were house hunting,
he nearly jumped out of his skin.
He threatened to cancel The Plaza.
- What is The Plaza?
- Oh, I forgot.
I'm supposed to ask you
if you will take our kids and the dog
so Dave and I can have a weekend,
our annual weekend, at The Plaza.
It's to