- I'll give you a lesson.
- Thank you. No.
- Come on, I need the workout.
Thank you, Nettie.
Isn't Nettie marvellous?
A German Virgo.
Their thing is, you know, to serve.
Oh, that's why we won the war.
Well, girls, I didn't get you here
on false pretences, really. I...
I'm interested. I'm no fanatic,
but I'm really interested.
Actually, we moved here
about two months ago,
and Ed joins
this Men's Association.
Believe me,
I know that it's unfair and sexist,
but, frankly, anything that gets him
out of the house nights is fine with me.
If we could get a consciousness-raising
group going, you'd come?
- What?
- A consciousness-raising session.
- A bitching session, you mean.
- Sure.
Like a shot, I'd come.
You wouldn't believe
what Ed tries putting me through.
He has a rubber suit
made for me in England.- Well!
- How about that, sports fans?
What is a rubber suit?
I'm an accent freak.
I'm not sure why.
Probably on account of...
I don't know if you've noticed
or not, but I stammer.
- When you were young, you mean?
- No, no.
I still do.
Just I work extra hard to control it.
Now, here.
I want you to write down
every place you've ever lived,
from when you were born until now.
And this is just standard vocabulary.
See, just straight through the alphabet.
"A. Aback. Abandon." Like that.
And this here's easy to operate.
Just push the switch and talk into it.
I think I can manage that,
- but what's this for?
- Just a lifelong hobby.
- Don't touch.
- See, once I get enough samples,
I aim to feed them all
into a computer and program it.
What I'll get back is an instant
geographical rundown on a person.
I really think it'll be more important
than fingerprints in police work.
That's very interesting, Claude,
but it's too much work.
We Stepford wives are busy, busy,
busy. You know, like your wife.
- Is he going to take your fingerprints?
- No, sweetie.
Just like your wife.
Bobby and I tried to involve her
in one of our projects,
but she had too much ironing.
Maybe you could convince her.
Kit Sunderson too.
If they could find the time for me,
I could find it for you.
Isn't this kind of blackmail, Joanna?
It's what made this country great,
Claude.
Usually we start out bitching,
but maybe if we're lucky, we can get
into something more constructive.
Anybody have any questions?
Well, good.
Then we might as well get started.
Fine. Terrific.
Who wants to go first?
Talk about anything.
Sex, money, our marriages,
anything at all.
Well, how about if I start?
Right, yes, well...
I think there are times when
Walter cares more about the law
than he does about me,
and that can hurt.
I don't think that...
I don't think that Ed ever loved me.
I mean,
he married me
because I looked right.
It made a big impression
on the other TV executives for his wife
to look like I look.
God knows he's given me things.
I'm not complaining
on that score, but...
He never loved me.
I didn't bake anything yesterday.
Took me so long to get
the upstairs floor to shine,
I didn't have any time to bake.
Well, you don't have to bake, Kit.
There's no law.
Hell, Ed's lucky if I remember
to keep him in white bread.
Easy On spray starch.
It must save me
half an hour a day, at least.
You'll never run short of time again.
I guarantee it.
I've just been tempted so many times
to try Easy On.
I'm not trying to be
a leader or anything,
but we're not supposed to delve
quite so specifically into housework.
Easy On's really that good, is it?
Is it that good? Well, if time is your
enemy, make friends with Easy On.
That's all I can tell you.
It's so good
that if ever I became famous
and the Easy On people asked
me would I do a commercial,
not only would I do it,
I'd do it for free.
That's how good it is.
Holy cow.
I think I'll take Fred for a walk.
Fred?
- Where is he? Did he get out again?
- No.
I said I was going to take him
for a walk.
You going out?
No, I'