and he blamed the city
and all its pressures.
And, oh, I knew I shouldn't have
touched the stuff.
But I did, and I'm sorry I ruined it all.
- You don't have to apologize, Carol.
- Not to us.
We just felt that it was important
that you two understand,
you being the newest in Stepford.
We didn't want you
getting the wrong opinion.
"We"? Who is "we"?
Oh, well, Ted, naturally.
And lke was there, and...
Oh, he's so old and smart that, after I'd
sobered up some, we asked him and...
You mean the men made you come
and apologize like this?
Oh, no.
No, I wanted to, really.
All they did was
sort of confirm my feelings.
- Well, why don't you come in.
- Oh, no.
No, I've got to get back. I...
I've seen Charmaine and...
Well, I...
I ought to get back.
Incredible.
Absolutely unbelievable.
If I was forced to apologize
every time I got smashed,
I'd spend my whole life
wandering around saying,
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
That is a lady
that could use some help.
I told you I...
...messed a little bit
with women's lib in New York.
Didn't we all?
I'm not contemplating
any Maidenform bonfires,
but they could certainly use
something around here.
- Oh, yeah.
- You game?
I'm game.
Boy, am I game!
Wow!
Gee, it sounds like fun.
But I've got three kids,
and the oldest is 6.
And that doesn't leave me
with a whole lot of extra time.
We really understand, Marie.
And we're not after you
to change your whole lifestyle,
but doesn't it ever bother you
that the most important organisation
in Stepford is sexually archaic?
- Archaic?
- Old-fashioned. Out-of-date.
Does it ever bother me?
No.
I've never been
much of a joiner, I'm afraid.
I guess it's because I've just been
so busy, what with baking and all that.
This isn't any kind of a lifelong
commitment we're after.
We just want to see
if there's any interest
for some kind of activities in Stepford.
That's all.
Well, there isn't any interest here,
Joanna.
I know I shouldn't say this,
but I just love my brownies.
I'm sorry. I just can't waste my
spare moments on something like that.
But you do go out sometimes,
don't you?
Go out?
Of course I go out.
I'm out now, aren't I?
Which one do you like?
Oh, I don't think either one.
- This is who?
- Cornell.
Husband owns the pharmacy.
She works there sometimes.
What I'd give for her chest.
There's this thing they've invented.
It's called knocking.
Doesn't interest me.
I'm a natural-born barger.
God, I just love that.
- Hey.
- Oh, yes. Yes.
Oh, yes.
Nobody's ever touched me
the way you touch me.
Oh, there.
Oh, you're the best, Frank.
Oh, God, are you the best.
Oh, there.
- Wait.
- Oh, God.
- God, are you the best.
- Let's go.
You're the king, Frank.
Oh, you're the champion, Frank.
Oh, you're the master!
- Is this the right place?
- Must be.
- Last house on Snowflake Lane.
- You're sure, now?
- We don't want to strike out again.
- "Oh, God, Frank, I'm sure. I'm sure."
Wasn't that awful? All your fault too.
I know, but this time,
I got us an invitation.
Listen, her name's
Charmaine Wimpiris.
And we were buying our kids shoes.
And I got to talking, and she said,
"Come on over.
It sounds interesting."
The way we've been bombing out,
I consider that a triumph.
- She said her court's in the back.
- OK.
Game.
- Five-one. Let's change.
- OK.
God, this is fun.
No!
- Oh, that was great.
- Oh, I haven't played
- in such a long time.
- Oh, you're good. You're really good.
I can tell that.
You're just out of practice.
Really. Hey, didn't you think
she was terrific?
I thought you were terrific.
Oh, well, listen. Play at my place
any time you want. I really mean that.
Now, Jenny Fisher used to play.
She finked out on me.
The only competition I've got left
are two teenage boys
with permanent erections.
- Send them to my place.
- Are you kidding?
I'd be lost without them.
Why don't you get her that...
- Give you some lessons.